#sirius is a dirty liar

[maryhadalittlemaggic]

For putting up with getting dolled up

[uhhlifeig]

Moon - October 13 - word count: 733 - @wolfstarmicrofic

PT 1

The party had stretched into the late hours. 

Remus found himself outside on the back patio, where it was quieter. The cool October air was a welcome relief from the stuffy warmth inside. 

He looked up at the moon, taking a moment to breathe. Parties weren’t exactly his scene, but being around his friends always made things better.

The door behind him creaked open.

“You ran away,” Sirius said, his voice teasing as he approached. “I should’ve known.”

“I didn’t run,” Remus replied, though he could feel the familiar flutter in his chest that always came when Sirius was near. “I just… needed some air.”

The older boy came to stand next to him, leaning his elbows on the railing. “Yeah, I get that.”

For a moment, they just stood in comfortable silence, the sound of the distant music muffled by the walls behind them. 

Sirius’s presence was warm beside him, and Remus found himself feeling calmer just being near him.

“So,” the noiret said, “you’ve been a bit quiet tonight.”

The dirty blonde shrugged. “Just... not really in the mood for a party.”

“Liar.” Sirius shot him a sidelong glance, his smirk playful. “You just hate dancing, admit it.”

Remus huffed. “Fine. I’m not much of a dancer.”

“You could’ve fooled me,” the gray-eyed boy said. “The way you moved when you dragged Reggie onto the dance floor...”

The younger of the two rolled his eyes. “That was to annoy James, and you know it.”

Sirius grinned. “Maybe. But you didn’t look like you hated it. You know, you could’ve asked me to dance.”

Remus’s heart skipped a beat. As nonchalantly as he could, he muttered, “Right, because dancing with you wouldn’t be awkward at all.”

“Why would it be awkward?”

“I just…” the amber-eyed boy swallowed, trying to find the right words. “I don’t want to make things weird between us.”

Sirius frowned slightly, turning to face him fully now. “Weird? Nothing could make things weird between us.”

The taller boy felt a knot form in his stomach. This was the moment, wasn’t it? 

The moment where everything could change- where he could say something, or he could keep it inside and pretend he wasn’t feeling everything that had been bubbling up for months- years, even.

“I don’t want to ruin this,” Remus said quietly, his eyes dropping to the ground. “I don’t want to ruin… us.”

Sirius was silent for a long beat, and the other boy’s heart sank. Maybe he’d said too much. Maybe he’d- 

“Remus,” Sirius interrupted his thoughts. “Look at me.”

Reluctantly, Remus raised his eyes.

“You could never ruin us,” Sirius said softly, and then, as if it were the simplest thing in the world, he reached out and took Remus’s hand. 

His fingers were warm, smooth from his constant care, and they fit so perfectly around the dirty blonde’s that it almost hurt.

Remus’s chest tightened. He hadn’t expected this. Not at all.

Sirius smiled. “You trust me, don’t you?”

Remus blinked, feeling his pulse race. “Of course I do.”

“Then trust me when I say this isn’t going to ruin anything,” Sirius whispered, stepping closer, their fingers still entwined. “Because if I’m being honest, I’ve been waiting for you to say something for a long time.”

“You- what?”

“You’re not the only one who’s been feeling this way, Moony.”

The words hung in the air between them, and for the first time all night, Remus allowed himself to believe. 

“You’re an idiot,” Remus muttered, his hand tightening around Sirius’s.

“Yeah, but you like me,” Sirius teased, his voice warm with affection.

“I do.”

And then, before he could overthink it, Remus leaned in. Sirius met him halfway, and the kiss was soft, tentative at first, but filled with all the things they hadn’t said. 

~~~~~

Back inside, James caught sight of them through the window and nudged Regulus, who was perched on the arm of the couch, reading something on his phone.

“Looks like they finally got their act together,” the older boy said, nodding toward the patio. “It’s about time they did.”

The boy dressed as a vampire glanced up, following James’s gaze, and smirked when he saw Remus and Sirius. “About time.”

James snorted. “Didn’t I say that first?”

“I say everything better.”

“You’re insufferable, you know that?”

Regulus just smirked, leaning in for a kiss. “You like me.”

“Yeah, I do, Reg.”

@star-gurll here ya go! :D

[samynnad102687]

Veritaserum

@struttingstag

May 24 prompt: veritaserum | Jegulus | 1811 words

CW: mention of past suicide attempt

James was feeling good. It was the last night before the Winter Holidays and naturally, the Gryffindors were throwing a party in Gryffindor Tower. He even convinced Regulus and the rest of his friend group to come to it, which made James smile even more than he did when he usually saw his boyfriend. The drinks were flowing and the music was blaring in all corners of the tower.

James was feeling bold since he was more than a little tipsy. Most everyone in Gryffindor knew about him and Regulus but they were still careful most of the time since you never knew who was going to show up at the party and Regulus was still in Slytherin, much to James' and Sirius' dismay. They would have rather he'd just stay in their dorm where they knew it was safe.

Regulus told James that he could take care of himself and James knew that but he still worried about him. It had gotten better though since they first started dating. When they first started, Regulus was still living with his parents and they ran the risk of anybody in Slytherin ratting them out if they weren't careful. James looked over at Regulus who was standing next to the drinks table with Barty and Evan. He knew he shouldn't but James couldn't help himself.

He walked over to the table, took Regulus' drink out of his hand, and handed it to Barty before dragging him to the dancefloor's centre. Regulus grumbled a little but let James do as he pleased nonetheless. James didn't know how long they had been dancing but Regulus had his head on James' chest as he wrapped his arms around his neck and played with the curls that hung down. That was until Sirius shouted and they both snapped their heads up to look in his direction.

"Alright, losers!" Sirius exclaimed as he stood up on the table. "Now that the younger years have gone to bed. It's time for the real fun to begin."

"What are you talking about?" Regulus scoffed before he buried his head in James' chest again.

"I'm so glad you asked, baby brother," Sirius announced with a bow and James could practically feel Regulus roll his eyes. "We're playing Truth or Dare but with Veritaserum because I know that some of you fuckers are fucking great liars and I want to know all the dirty, little secrets you've been hiding."

To say that Sirius was drunk was an understatement, especially since Remus was trying to pull him off the table and Sirius kept swatting him away. James had no problem with Truth or Dare. He just didn't know how deep the questions would go with how drunk Sirius and most of the others were at the moment, so he was just a tad bit worried. Not that he really had any secrets to tell anyway.

"I'm in!" Marlene shouted and that was all it took.

Everybody else in their little groups grumbled with their acceptance or agreed eagerly if they were Barty. They moved the table and chairs out of the way to make more room for everyone to sit in a giant circle, considering there were twelve of them between the Gryffindors and the Slytherins. Regulus practically sat in James' lap and James wrapped his arms around him instinctively.

"Okay, who's going first?" Sirius asked as he plopped down next to Remus and started to pour the shots of Veritaserum, passing them out as he went.

"Why don't you since you're the one who suggested to game," Mary replied with a small laugh.

"Alright," Sirius said with a shrug, "but who to ask first?"

He tapped his chin contemplatively before his eyes shot straight to his brother. James wasn't surprised.

"Reggie!"

"Of course he picks me," Regulus grumbled under his breath before he glared at his brother. "What?"

"Truth or Dare?"

Regulus sighed before he shocked everyone in the circle. "Dare."

"Umm, okay," Sirius faltered, clearly expecting him to pick truth. "I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the circle..." Regulus started to turn towards James because that was a given before Sirius continued, "that is not James."

Regulus glared at him again before he scowled and looked around the room. James was curious about who he would pick. It looked like Barty was expecting him to pick him but no, Regulus got out of James' lap and beelined it towards somebody else. They seemed shocked as well and Sirius jumped up to protest before Regulus turned on him.

"It was your dare," Regulus replied with a smirk before turning back and crashing his lips together with Remus'.

"That's not- that's-," Sirius threw his hands up in the air before he dropped back down to the ground and James had to cover his laugh with a cough as everybody else snickered with no shame.

Regulus walked back over to James with a satisfied smirk, kissing him on the lips right after. James smiled and wrapped his arms around him again.

"Okay, my turn. "Remus, truth or dare?"

It went like that for the next few rounds. Most picked dare and had to do silly little things that they honestly probably would have done anyway. But then it was Sirius' turn again and he looked straight at James. James sighed because he had a feeling he knew what was coming.

"Ja- ames," Sirius said in a sing-song tone.

"Yeah?"

"Truth or dare?"

"Dare, obviously." It really was the only possible answer.

"Okay, I dare you to pick truth."

Well, fuck.

"Umm, okay," James replied slowly as he tried to gauge what Sirius was playing at. "Truth, then."

James picked up the shot and downed the potion before he gestured for Sirius to ask his question. Sirius beamed at him before he spoke again and James wasn't sure how he felt about that. It seemed mischievous and like he was looking for something specific that James had never told him or that he thought James had never told him. Which honestly wasn't a lot, James would usually tell him everything and everybody knew that so he shouldn't have been surprised when all their eyes landed on him.

"What is one secret that you have never told anybody?" Sirius asked with an eager grin as he leaned closer to him.

James pursed his lips together. He had to ask that, didn't he because there was only one thing in his whole life that he never told anybody about and he never had any intention of telling anybody about for that matter. He was starting to sweat as he fought the potion and the words that were trying to tumble out of his mouth. Regulus was looking at him with concern now and James didn't want him to know. He didn't want anybody to know.

"Oh, come on. It can't be that bad," Marlene laughed.

James snapped his eyes up at her and glared. She just laughed some more as she held her hands up in mock surrender and fell back into Dorcas.

"It's okay, Jamie. Whatever it is. Nobody will judge you for it," Regulus whispered soothingly but all James could think was, 'You will.'

"Out with it," Sirius encouraged. "You can't fight the potion anyway so you're only hurting yourself more by trying."

James sighed before he looked down at his hands wrapped around his boyfriend.

"I tried to kill myself the summer after third year," he whispered just under his breath.

He never told his parents what he did either. It truly was a secret that he had intended on taking to his grave. James felt Regulus tense up in his lap. He was sure he was the only one who heard him since he was so close.

"What?" Sirius asked with a laugh. "Couldn't quite hear you."

James squeezed his eyes shut to stop the tears from forming. Everyone was laughing except for Regulus. After a minute or two, other people started to egg him on to repeat what he just said and since he was still under the effects of the potion he couldn't stop the hurt or anger that came out when he repeated it.

"I fucking tried to kill myself the summer after third year. Happy?" James shouted before he dislodged Regulus from his lap and stormed off towards the stairs to his dorm.

The room became deadly silent but all he wanted to do was get away from everybody. He made it to the top of the stairs before he heard Regulus yell at his brother.

"You're a fucking dick, Sirius. I'd suggest you don't go anywhere near him for a while. I can't believe you just fucking did that."

James heard the footsteps coming up the stairs and he was sure that it was Regulus but he shut the door anyway and made his way to the bathroom. James sat against the wall with his head between his knees and tried not to cry but he couldn't hold back the tears even if he was imperio'd to.

"Oh, baby. Come here," Regulus said softly as he grabbed James by the shoulder and pulled him into his lap.

James went willingly. He wanted to be alone but then again he didn't and if he had to be around somebody right now, he was grateful that it was Regulus. He really really didn't want to see Sirius. James let the tears fall as he sobbed into his boyfriend's chest. Regulus ran one hand in soothing circles around his back as he ran the fingers of his other through James' hair.

"It's okay, Jamie. I promise it's going to be okay," Regulus whispered.

James sobbed louder and Regulus seemed to put up a silencing charm which James was grateful for. He hated it when anybody heard him cry. He was supposed to be the happy-go-lucky sunshine friend after all. Although now that his secret was out, he wouldn't be surprised if people started to keep their distance from him for a while.

"Please, don't leave me," James whispered wetly. It was a little muffled since he had his face in Regulus' chest.

"I'm here for you, baby. I'll always be here for you," Regulus replied firmly. "And if you want to talk about it or anything, I'll be here for you then too. I'm not going anywhere, Mon Soliel."

James didn't say anything else. He just clung to Regulus like his life depended on it and cried until he couldn't cry anymore. He was sure he would pass out at some point but he didn't care. He was tired and wanted nothing more than to forget about everything that just happened.

"I love you, James. I always will."

It was the last thing James heard before he let himself let go and drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

Also published on Ao3: The Truth Doesn't Always Set You Free

[permetutotheworld]

unrequited marylene marlene’s pov where she writes about it

requested by @nyx-taylors-version

This is stupid i dont even know why im doing this but Lily said it would help so here we are. I like mary.

That didnt help and lily is a dirty liar

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

she smiled at me today and called me over, i dont want anyone but her to say my name ever again

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

there’s a party tonight in the tower, i’m going with Mary as friends. It shouldn’t hurt as much as it does. But then again, you never know, mary’s never said she’s straight explicitly! Lily says im being delusional but a girlie’s gotta be a little crazy sometimes

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

she likes a boy. Im not a boy. Ill be okay, it’s just a silly crush she means everything to me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

im need to get over Mary i can’t go on like this it hurts too much, every time she smiles at me a knife twists in my gut and im winded for a second and i hate it

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

she’s leaving. Shes leaving hogwarts. Her family is leaving for america to avoid the war i cant i dont how can i i dont care.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

is it wrong to wish i’d never met her? To wish i never had the chance to fall in love like her? Probably but she’s anyway so it doesnt matter. I wish she wasnt leaving

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

she’s leaving today and i feel like im dying, everyone’s crying but i just can’t make myself, what’s wrong with me? My best friend is leaving for another continent and i can’t even being myself to shed a tear or two

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

shes gone. she left and i couldnt even look her in the eye. she was sobbing and it killed me to see her upset but i coulnd’t do anything but hug her and wish i lived in a universe where Mary Macdonald didnt like boys

and now she’s gone, and a part of me left with her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i miss her

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

three years later, 1981

mary, hi

marlene here, of course you’ll know that because of my shitty handwriting, mary i

everything’s gone to shit mary, lily and jamss are in hiding dorcas is dead gone and i miss you. Please come back don’t come back Mary its too dangerous, it would kill me if anything happened to you, you probably shouldn’t even reply to this, they’re checking all owls coming into the country, it really is a shit show over here

and mary, if anything happens to me, you’re my best friend in this world, i would do anything for you so please do this for me

stay away from britain. stay away from the war, get yourself the fuck away from all of this, even further than where you are now and live your life safely, please, i cant lose you

i have to go, peter’s knocking and it seems important

live a good life Mary Macdonald

love from

marlene

x

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

19th july 1981

the mckinnon’s were found dead early this morning by sirius black

We at the daily prophet extend our condolences to the friends and family members left behind.

[not-a-taken-username]

harry potter and the stupid fucking triwizard tournament

by: notatakenusername (aka me!)

summary: The moment Harry James Potter hears his name come out of the stupid, obese, wine-glass doppelganger, (also known as the Goblet of Fire), he's done holding himself back. Queue the chaos that happens when he gives into his impulsive thoughts.

snippet from unreleased chapter 10, where Sirius gets his trail:

“You,” Umbridge started, pointing a finger at Sirius, now ignoring Fudge. “Are nothing but a dirty criminal and a liar.” 

“No I’m not,” Sirius responded simply, and the glare Umbridge had on her face made her look so toad-like Harry thought she was an animagus for a second. In fact, Harry was quite curious now! 

“Are you a toad animagus? Or did the transformation like, fail halfway through? That seems to really be the only plausible explanation to your uncanny resemblance–” 

Harry didn’t think that Umbridge liked him very much, considering the silencio she instantly sent his way, which was narrowly countered by Remus. 

“How dare you!” Remus said, eyes flashing and glaring at Umbridge, who actually looked a bit scared. “You’ve just attempted to silence a minor! In a public hearing, no less!” 

Umbridge’s eyes widened, as if she just registered the severity of what she did. She gulped, visibly scared, as she glanced at Harry warily. 

“Now then, let’s just calm down and move on, alright?” Fudge piped up, looking nervous. Harry raised a brow. 

“Nuh uh. Can’t you see how scared and terrified I am of a grown adult attempting to silence me? I’ve just been traumatized.” Harry said neutrally. 

Everyone stared at him. 

“Psst! Pup, you’re gonna have to be more convincing than that!” 

“Oh no! I’m terrified!” Harry deadpanned, dramatically putting a hand to his forehead. “I’m so scared I’m going to sue the Ministry for causing trauma to me!” 

Sirius sighed dramatically, wiping a fake tear on his shoulder. “What have you done to my poor godson! I guess we’re going to have to sue the Ministry for 100,000 galleons now…”

[itsjaywalkers]

laurie have you ever pondered on what jarty might look like in your boxer au. i’m just very curious about the dynamic between those versions of them in general (i wuv u 🫶🫶🐛)

SAINTS SWEETHEART HI <333

yes i have!! mostly bc they interact a lot in the fic and also bc of all the foursome talk there was about jeggy + rosekiller a while ago!!

james and barty hate each other with a Passion in the boxer au. it's raw and visceral and personal, even though there's no History between them. they didn't have a fight that made them become enemies or have some sort of diagreement. they just don't like each other, fundamentally

sirius and james also heavily dislike each other in this fic, but it's not as bad. they argue a lot but they can still pretend in front of the cameras, even if it can feel slightly strained occassionally. they're also Respectful when they get on the ring. sure, they taunt each other and fight with all their might, but neither of them plays dirty or breaks any rules. between barty and james is the complete opposite, they can't do interviews together and their matches tend to get cancelled midway through. that, or they both end up straight disqualified

i think they have more in common than they think, but their core traits or like . the strongest parts of their personalities clash very directly, and the personas they wear publicly kind of represent what they both hate the most??? like, james is arrogant to the point it's obnoxious, but he's charming and extroverted and loves having everyone's attention on him. while barty is also arrogant, but doesn't brag as much as james does, he's more reserved and . aggressive, doesn't do well with ppl and he doesn't give a fuck about what other think of him or about curating his image to appeal to the masses. james thinks barty is an asshole and not really a good person and barty thinks james is fake and hollow and a liar. but they don't actually Know each other

i have a hard time seeing them working romantically. i wouldn't say it's impossible, but it'd be . very complicated and frustrating and it wouldn't be healthy at all. they also wouldn't have a conventional relationship i feel like. they're always trying to one up each other and they fight over literally everything and james lets himself be controlled by anger way too easily, while barty, despite being sort of?? comfortable with conflict?? and enjoying chaos is a lot better at keeping his cool and getting the upper hand in that way. there would a lot of imbalance between them and that would drive both of them up the wall. both of them want to be in control at all times

that being said, there is a certain sexual tension between them. they hate each other so bad that it turns into Want sometimes, they just repress it or deny it to themselves, bc that's basically their arch nemesis, they're supposed to want them dead, not bent over a table you know?

if reg or evan weren't in the picture i feel like that sexual tension would remain unresolved for a lot longer, but they'd still fuck at some point. maybe even become some sort of twisted fuck buddies idk. they do have a lot of sexual chemistry, but they're both Proud and Stubborn so it'd be a long, exhausting process to get them to a point in which . they find their footing when it comes to sleeping together

evan and reg being there completely erases the possibility of their dynamic turning romantic, but it makes their possible Fucking more accessible?? surprisingly lmao. bc their respective partners give them the excuse to seek each other out (reg is down for either a foursome or a threesome, simply bc it's barty, and evan isn't actually interested but gets off on barty being turned on + watching him so he'd agree too). and having intermediaries would also help to keep them in check and aid them in finding how they can work while having sex aka barty tops, but they switch it a bit when it comes to dom/sub dynamics, since they're capable of both but have a clear preference to being the dom (that's another thing, until reg doesn't top james for the first time and he finds out he's actually very into it he would've never allowed barty to top him. that, or it would've taken him A While)

[mastermindmiko]

Drunk (The final part)

pairing: George Weasley + OC

word count: 3494

summary: Juliette finally remembers

Warnings: A shit ending, and kissing, swearing nothing else I think

Hey! if you think this didn't completely suck (which it did, I'm aware), feel free to check out my masterlist

When it was time to head back to Hogwarts, Juliette was less than excited. She waited all throughout break for a present from Draco or at least a letter. She wasn’t sad about the lack of gifts rather the lack of any acknowledgement from him at all. She sent him his gift like she did every year and she sent him a letter; it would’ve been nice for him to at least return the favor. She anxiously said goodbye to all of her family and Sirius -in dog form- was very reluctant to leave her.

“Maybe you can stay with us?” Neville asked her when they boarded the train.

“Yeah, we’d love for you to stay with us.” Harry added. Juliette shook her head and tilted her head to the Slytherin carriage. Neville understood and shrugged his shoulders. She walked towards the carriage and she could hear Harry whisper, “I highly doubt that they’ll not hex her after she tells them what happened.”

“Who cares about the other, she only cares about Malfoy. He’s her oldest friend.” Neville whispered, she was really happy about him being her brother. When she entered the carriage, she received dirty glances. The glances weren’t any more dirty than the normal and she thought that it was odd. Have they not heard?

She reached the compartment where she usually sat with Draco, and she found that Parkinson was all over him like she usually was. She slid the compartment door open and they all looked at her, as if nothing happened over break. Draco on the other hand looked at her as if she was a stranger, she would be a liar if she denied the stab in her heart. “Um, hey guys-” They all murmured greetings, nothing different. She turned to look Draco in the eye, “Can I talk to you for a moment?”

He grumbled before he stood up and followed her out of the compartment. She could hear Parkinson mumble insults under her breath. Juliette couldn’t say she missed the ‘welcoming’ atmosphere. When the door was closed, she opened her mouth and started saying “I’m really don’t know-”

He pressed his palm to her mouth and hissed at her “Do you really want every Slytherin to hate you more than they already do?” He let go of her mouth when she licked his hand. “Ughh.” He said as he wiped his hand on his robe and for a second the mirth in his eyes, made her feel like nothing changed. His expression changed completely when he saw the smile on her face. “Let’s go in here.”

She wasn’t completely in favor of stepping into the bathroom with Draco and he noticed that -like he always did-; so he added “Not like we haven’t been in here before.” He smirked at her as she was reminded of their heated counter after break this exact time a year ago. She could almost see them both kissing each other with every fiber of their being. She blushed and she heard Draco chuckle. She entered the bathroom, and the space was very cramped.

“I’m sorry.” He said as soon as the door closed. She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, why was he apologizing? “I didn’t send you a letter or anything this Christmas.” He said and Juliette replied, “You know, I don’t care about some stupid present. I just wanted to talk to you. Did you get my letter?”

“Yeah, I did. I wish you would stop signing them like that.” He grumbled and he stepped away from her, as much as he could with the tight space. He didn’t mind it last year, but last year they weren’t friends. “Why?” She asked.

“I’m sorry.” She said, and she tried to hug him; but he placed his hand between them. “Juliette, you need to stop; please.” He said and she could see his eyes brim with tears. “I don’t know what you’re talking about-”

“Because it hurts and it’s not true anymore.” He replied, avoiding her gaze professionally. “What wouldn’t make it true?” She decided to comment on the second part of the reply first.

“Juliette, Do you honestly think my father will let me be near you after he finds out about your blood?” He asked, Lucius found out and he gave Draco a stern talk about it. “When he did, of course I had to oppose him didn’t I.” He added and only then Juliette registered the big slash on the back of his neck. She frowned at the sight and walked closer to him, she didn’t notice the way his lungs contracted when she did so. She touched it lightly, and he barely hissed. However, she heard it and she pulled back her hand, mumbling ‘sorry’.

“Juliette stop! How the fucking hell do you still not get it? I’m in love with you! I’m so in love with you and you don’t! Don’t you realize that you give me hope every time you hug me or lay with me? Don’t you know how much my heart hurts whenever you say that we’re friends then you just spend the night with my arms around you?!” She was stunned into silence, she thought that the breakup was mutual. When she brought up the idea of it, he kept nodding; she assumed that they were on the same track.

A few tears fell on his cheeks, and she contemplated wiping them away. “I’m sorry, it's all just second nature to me. I didn’t know I was hurting you, I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry-”

“Don’t apologize for my feelings.” He said and he wiped his own tears. He tried to compose his posture, and she noticed a hurt look in his eyes. She decided that that look hurt much more than him looking at her like a stranger. “Besides you got Weasley now, I’m sure he’s able to give you much more love than I can.”

“Don’t say that. Draco, I’m really sorry that I broke up with you, but it wasn’t because you were closed off. You were never closed off with me, so don’t assume that there’s something wrong with you; because there isn’t.” She said sternly.

He smiled at her gratefully though it didn’t reach his eyes. “What’s up with you and Weasley? Poor sod, looked like he was about to faint after you left.” She flushed at the knowledge but smiled sadly at how Christmas break ended. Draco noticed and he grabbed both her arms quickly, saying “Did he hurt you? Did he hurt you Juliette? Because if he did, I’ll-”

“No no no, he didn’t hurt me.” She said, “We almost kissed during break but we were interrupted and I started avoiding him and he did the same -I think and I don’t know if he likes me or not.” She looked at the floor with a bittersweet smile on her face.

“Juliette-” he grabbed her hands and he smiled through the pain. “With the amount of worry that was on his face, I think it’s impossible for him to love you.” She smiled gratefully and she knew Draco wouldn’t lie to her. Especially now that she knows he loves her, he certainly wouldn’t lie about another boy’s affections. She lifted her arms in front of her slightly as if she were to embrace him and she said quietly “Can I-”

He rolled his eyes and pulled her closer, holding her tightly. She relaxed into the familiar embrace. She inhaled the scent of mint and green apples, and she knew he was doing the same. “Juliette, I know that I’m contradicting everything I just said right now; but would you mind spending the night with me. I just miss you, if you don’t want to, it's fine.”

She smiled and nodded from his chest.

　 »»————-　　————-««

George wondered if he could actually burn holes into someone’s head if he tried hard enough. He loved Juliette’s laughter, however he didn’t want the blonde ferret to be the cause of it. Malfoy did know about her family didn’t he? They were practically engaged weren’t they? So how could he not know? Unless of course he did know, and he still wanted to be with her. He thought he wouldn’t have to worry about Juliette and Malfoy after break because of how he wouldn’t like a blood traitor, but apparently that doesn’t matter to him.

George leaned towards his twin and whispered, not taking his eyes off of Juliette and Malfoy, “Do you think he knows?” Fred looked at him then at them then back at him. “How could he not?” George hummed and he leaned back and started to poke at his stake.

He’s been in a sour mood since he finally decided to talk to Juliette about their almost kiss and he found her walking out of the toilets with Malfoy. What was worse is that he heard Malfoy say ‘see you tonight’ and that she nodded with a smile. The awful stares he got from all the Slytherins were not worth it all. They were back together. Malfoy ignoring her for the entirety of Christmas didn’t affect his feelings apparently. He was stunned that Juliette took him back after everything, and he meant Malfoy ignoring her; not their almost kiss together.

“If you stare any longer his hair will start to burn and they’ll feel you.” Fred said, looking at him with a smirk. “It’s your fault, you waited this long. When you almost kissed her did she pull away? Did she look disgusted? No.”

George grumbled in agreement, and he proceeded to look at Juliette more. He tried to think of what could’ve caused the sudden change of heart. “What’s got him so messed up?” Angelina commented diagonally from him. She looked to where he was looking and she asked Fred, “Is he in love with Lore or Malfoy?”

“You mean Longbottom or Malfoy, and it’s Juliette.” He replied and he filled her in vaguely about Juliette Longbottom. She nodded and she said “He probably gave her mixed signals.” She shrugged as she sipped on her pumpkin juice.

George’s gaze flickered from Juliette to Angelina and he asked “Like what?” She set her cup down and bit the inside of her cheek, and she started saying “A lot of things. Maybe like having sex then leaving, but the most popular is probably almost sharing an intimate moment- like a kiss maybe and then ignoring her-” Her explanation was cut off when Fred burst out laughing and George flushed loudly.

Angelina was confused for a moment until she burst out laughing with Fred, and George felt even more embarrassed. “No wonder why this had to happen!” She said in between her laughs. George shoved Fred lightly hoping that he would stop laughing but he started laughing more. George only chuckled slightly, he had to admit that the situation was slightly funny.

After more painful moments, they finally stopped laughing. “You should make it up to her, if you still want her that is.” She said, and she put her hand on his. “Just try not to do that again-” Her words were cut off by Fred laughing again and her joining him. This time George did too.

⤹⋆⸙͎۪۫｡˚۰˚☽˚⁀➷｡˚⸙͎۪۫⋆

“I missed you too.” She said as she hugged him tightly. “I’m not used to the green anymore.” She laughed but it was muffled by his chest. He ran his hands through her hair and he gently massaged her scalp.

“You spent one break with Gryffindors and suddenly you forget the green of the Slytherin Common Room.” He laughed and he held you tightly. Juliette didn’t tell Draco about the Order, he knew about it from his father. He also knew about her entire history from his father as well. She only told him the non- war and non-voldemort parts of her break. The parts that any two normal friends would talk about. “I know you’re still mad about johnson.”

“I’m not mad-” She started and he snorted, so she slapped his chest. “Ow!” He said and he added “You could still get him back.” She looked up into his eyes from his chest and she said “how would i do that?”

“Make him jealous of course.” He said and she slapped his chest again. “No I won’t. It’s mean.” He rolled his eyes and he said “Oh look, you’ve got those Gryffindor morals too now.” She slapped his chest again and he held her wrist “Stop, it actually hurts now.” She laughed and laid back again on her chest. He pressed a soft kiss to the crown of her head and he said “Goodnight.”

⤹⋆⸙͎۪۫｡˚۰˚☽˚⁀➷｡˚⸙͎۪۫⋆

“Make it a powerful memory. The happiest you can remember, allow it to fill you up.” Harry walked around the room, as he gave pointers to everyone. Neville told Juliette about when the most recent DA meeting was going to be. He picked her up from the Slytherin common room, and he walked her to the room of requirement. She gave Draco a stern look when she saw Crabbe and Goyle try to bully Neville and he stopped them.

Juliette snickered when Harry told Seamus to try again and she poked her tongue out at him. Seamus looked at her in annoyance, they had made a bet that he wouldn’t get it the first time he tried. She’d collect a few sickles from him after the DA. Then Harry told George to give it a try and a Magpie came out of his wand. Fred’s patronus was the same, and it was endearing how big their brother bond was.

Harry told Juliette to conjure her patronus and she gave him the captain salute. She gave Neville a sympathetic smile, because he wasn’t able to conjure a patronus. She would’ve told him using his own wand would be better, but it's their dad’s wand he’s using. She couldn’t tell him to stop. If she had her mom’s wand she would’ve done the same thing. She thought of her thirteenth birthday, which she spent with Draco and the Twins. She said “expecto patronum” but nothing came out of her wand.

She thought of all the fun times she had over break. She tried once again, and she said “expecto patronum”. A big blue dragon flew out the tip of her wand and it kept on spinning around her. It was very shiny and she was sure that it was the biggest patronus in size here. She was amazed by how she could conjure a patronus. When the patronus faded she hugged Neville tightly. He whispered congratulations in her ear.

She then squealed and she hugged him tightly. He wrapped his arms around her and he squeezed her. “As much as i don’t mind this. I would really like to know what is the cause of it.” She pulled away from their tight embrace and she started bouncing from one leg to another. “Calm down. You're going to explode.” He said.

When the DA meeting ended, Hermione came up to her. She had a smile on her face, and she said “I bet you’re regretting breaking up with Malfoy now.” Juliette furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. Then her mind cleared up and she said “No we’re just friends, completely platonic. Besides, I like someone else.” Her eyes trailed towards George who didn’t look very enthused. Fred, however, was looking at her; and she tilted her to George. It was as if she was asking what’s up with him? He shrugged his shoulders but Juliette knew that he was lying. They’re twins, they know everything about each other.

She bid farewell to everyone. She headed back to the common room where she found Draco. Without any words she grabbed his wrist and took him to her room. She slammed the door behind them. She looked at him with a stern look and he said “What happened-”

She conjured up her Dragon Patronus and she smiled at him. Draco already knew about the DA, she hadn’t told him. However, the entire Inquisitorial squad had their suspicions. They had unintentionally agreed that they wouldn't talk about it. He smiled at her, it was more of a smirk and he folded his arms in front of his chest. “Told you. Though, I’m quite confused on why you are so happy about me being right again.”

“He was jealous, he was so jealous. He was practically fuming!” She said and she was spinning around her room. He grabbed both her shoulders and steadied her. This wasn’t the first time Draco had to steady a very excited Juliette. The first time she did that, she threw up. The second time she threw up then fainted, and she was very drunk. He learned by then that he should steady her, so that’s what he did.

“Did he talk to you? Better yet, did he tell you about his feelings?” He asked excitedly. Juliette’s happiness faded and a frown decorated his face. He didn’t do any of that. Draco got the hint. “Maybe he wasn’t jealous enough?” She nodded and she mumbled a ‘maybe.’

“Okay I have a plan!”

　 »»————-　　————-««

“Today, we’re going to be brewing the memory potion.” Snape said. George was paired up with Angelina. He had to not mess up this potion, considering that she wanted to be a healer; and that healers need NEWTs potions. Angelina was doing most of the work, and he knew she didn’t mind him not helping. She knew that if he helped he would probably mess it up.

George had zoned out and he placed his hand on his palm. He inhaled the potion and he started to think of Juliette. He saw weird flashes of him on top of her, and then her kissing his neck. His thoughts were interrupted by Snape, “Mr. Weasley, I can see that you are helping tremendously with this potion.” He turned to look at Angelina “Miss Johnson are you finished with the potion?” She nodded and then Snape turned back to George “Well then since you’ve been a great help Mr. Weasley, go on try the potion, see if it works.”

“But Professor-” Angelina tried to tell Snape to not give George the potion, she knew the side effects. For one, he could lose his memory completely; and that was just one of the possibilities. George wanted to know what was up with his images of Juliette, so without any warning he took the vial and drowned it down. He could only hear Angelina say “no-” Angelina always underestimated her potion making skills.

He got several images of things that happened the first day of school and images of them both sharing both heated and sensual encounters in winter break. One specific scene that went through his head is when she was laying on his chest and he said ‘I love you’ and she replied with the same answer. She kissed him, and his stomach was filled with butterflies.

He grabbed the vile and ran out of the classroom. He heard Snape calling him, but he paid no mind to him. Minutes after running, he realised that he had no idea what class Juliette had right now. He saw Malfoy heading out of a class and he saw Juliette following behind.

“Juliette!” He shouted and he watched as she looked around in confusion until her eyes landed on his.

He gave her the vile and he said quickly “drink it. Drink it!” She drowned it down in confusion, and she zoned out for a bit. She wasn’t moving for a bit and Malfoy got worried. He grabbed George’s shirt and Malfoy shouted at him “What the hell did you give her?!”

Just as George was about to reply, Juliette said with a smile on her face. “George…” Malfoy didn’t let go of his shirt, in fact he punched him in the face. “You gave her a fucking love potion!” He was almost about to punch George again when Juliette grabbed his elbow.

He walked closer to her and he held both her hands. “Are we talking about the same thing?” He asked, he wasn’t taking any chances. If this was real, he wanted it to be definite. “Maybe you should remind me.” She said, and he smirked. He crashed his lips onto her’s.

“He didn’t give me a love potion, Draco.” He let go of George and he stepped back slightly. He straightened out his clothes and he cleared his throat.

“I’ll give you both a moment.” He leaned to Juliette and he whispered “Scream, Slytherin. If you need my help.” George rolled his eyes and he watched Malfoy leave. He waited for Malfoy to leave, and then he looked at Juliette.

“I just wanted to know if I was hallucinating or if we were just extremely drunk” George said and he could see Juliette blush. “I think we were reallyyy drunk.” She said softly.

[quindolyn]

As another dialogue, if you’re comfortable with it, can you do you and Jamie actually doing something with wolfstar after y’all had this conversation

Yes of course!

tw: degradation, dom!Remus, Sirius, and reader, sub!James

He was knelt before the towering figure of his best friend, scarred hands ran through his wild curls as Remus guided the warm cavern of James' mouth up and down the hardening length of his cock.

You salivated as you watched Sirius slide behind your boyfriend, Sirius completely naked, his cock pressed against James' bare back.

"Pretty Jamesie," The long haired male cooed, brushing James' curls back from his face, "Look at your Mommy pretty boy, you see her?"

Bright hazel eyes flew to your frame, lounging half naked on the bed behind Remus, your legs were parted so James could see your bare cunt as you slid a finger through your dripping folds.

"You see how wet she is baby? That's all from you, watching you on your knees like a proper little whore."

James preened under the praise, whimpering around Remus' cock, sending vibrations up his member that had the werewolf's hands tightening in his hair.

"His cock's just straining against his pretty panties boys," Your eyes were locked on the bulge that pressed insistently against the constricting material of the pink lace thong Sirius and Remus had bought for him as a reward for being a big boy and telling his Mommy about all the dirty little things he wanted to do with them.

"Is my little pup hard Siri?" Remus posed the question as his long fingers hooked under James' jaw directing his vision up towards his face.

Reaching around Sirius groped James' erection, shamelessly teasing the poor boy as he tried to rut into the other's hand.

"No," Remus scolded with a slap to James' face, painting his cheek a pretty pink, "Don't be a greedy fucking slut, be the good boy your Mommy told us you were and take what we give you."

"He's right Jamesie, you wouldn't wanna make me look like a liar, would you?"

taglist: @randomoutsiders @weasleyposts @amourtentiaa @kittykylax @superbturtlemakerathlete @oliviashea05 @pinkandblueblurbs @dracofknmalfoy @itsmentalillness @zzzfour @greenlyblue @emmaev @advictedtohim @st0nesnglitter @priii @miraclesoflove @shadesofvelma @drachoesimp @ashlovesthemarauders @artemis1orion @skaratjung @fairyprettygirly @padfootswife @swearingsolemnly @teenwolfbitches28 @lilypad-55449 @jamespotterslover  @lolooo22 @adrianscumslut @jeannelupinblack @wh0reforthemarauders @myalupinblack @ashesandstars @daisyyy2516 @remugoodgirl @itzstacie @planet-wolfstar @steveharringtonswhore @saintlike78 @i-love-scott-mccall @cedricisnotdead @pretty-pop-princess-hs @sunshinexweasley

[lexienootfound]

i bet you think about me - jegulus

𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: based off i bet you think about me music video by taylor swift.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: mention of self harm at the end if you squint.

𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫: the three featured poems are not written by me. first poem: vulnerability by a.j. on pinterest second poem: vows by s.c. on pinterest third poem: the boy i love left me for a revolution by e.h. on pinterest

JAMES IS DIZZY, his hands clammy and the collar of the suit he's wearing seems to suffocate him no matter how many times he pulls at it.

Everyone around him seems to be unaware of the rock in his stomach, sinking and sinking till he fears he can no longer hold it. Perhaps he's a better liar than he thought because not a single person questioned his fake smiles and his rigid, tense stature.

He's getting married to the most beautiful woman he's ever met. He should be the happiest man in the room so does it feel like he's marching to his death with his hands tied behind his back? Why did he want to run and never look back? Why does he want to curl into a ball and cry?

In a few minutes time, he will be making vows and in doing so, breaking the ones he's made before. Ones whispered in a blanket of darkness with heavy breaths of desperation.

"It's almost time. Are you ready?" His best friend says and James made the mistake of meeting his eyes. They're grey, stormy like the sky before a hurricane, wanderlust and bright. They're his eyes, except that there's a certain kind of vulnerability in his; lost, confused, terrified. James had spent nights after nights trying to erase it all away.

In his dark childhood room, James Potter had worshipped Regulus Black. He had made a cathedral out of his body and for a foolish, naive moment, James had believed his mouth was the antidote that would cure the broken boy he had foolishly fell for.

But like everything beautiful and rebellious, like fallen angels who had turned their backs on God, they had fallen and crashed and burned, the wreck they left before them setting their hearts aflame. Two boys who knew war and heartache so well should have known better than to play with flames.

He tears his gaze away from Sirius' eyes, forcing a smile to reach his lips. "I am."

It was a never ending cycle. Everyday, James would attempt to forget, to numb his burnt heart and silence his aching soul. He would go about his day, his friends by his side, his girlfriend holding his hand and he would try to forget how he wished it's someone else's hand he's holding, he wishes it was pale and long and slender. Hands that had touched him in places no one else has, hands that traced his skin and memorized every dip and bump.

And sometimes, he succeeds. Sometimes, he doesn't look at the other end of the room where he stands. Sometimes, James numbs himself just enough that the physical ache of not being able to hold him disappears for few glorious hours that he doesn't feel like a traitor when Lily touches him.

Then the night falls and he's laying on his bed and wave crashes in like a fucking tornado determined to destroy everything in its path. His skin feels dirty, not his own and he feels empty, void and dull of everything that made him the James Potter everyone knows. He had read somewhere that the body regenerates every seven years and he lays there fearing the day where his skin was never touched by his lover.

THE FIRST TIME they touched, they had both been so cautious, like children trying something new and big and scary for the first time. Their eyes are curious and full of wonder despite the fear. They knew what they were doing was dangerous. They knew the consequences of being caught and yet they continued like eager schoolboys. They held each other that night. They kissed, hands under each other's shirts, but nothing more.

They basked in each other's presence and god, Regulus was cold. His skin felt like snow against his own, but his words more so.

"You're going to break my heart," he had whispered against James' neck, voice low and thick. "And I'm going to let you. Isn't that terrifying?"

James couldn't even deny it. They would break each other's hearts. When morning comes, they could not be. It's like some sick sort of fairytale. They are stealing borrowed time and one day, they will pay the price.

"And I will break my own along the way."

James woke up the next morning alone and he would have thought it were all but a dream if it weren't for Regulus' scent clinging to his pillow, if it weren't for the dirt of his shoes against his carpeted floor. In the space where his lover should be is a note, written in a perfect penmanship that flowed through the paper.

I am afraid of you. In loving me, you hold a knife to my throat. In loving you, I tell you exactly where to cut. We are two against the world, yet I still do not trust your hand in mine. This is new, and I am terrified.

THE CROWD STOOD as James walked down the altar. He can see his mother crying, his father holding her tightly. He can see his friends, his people, ones he grew up with. They looked at him with smiles on their faces as if they knew he's doing the right thing. How can they know when he doesn't?

And then his eyes caught his. He stood by the corner, dark hair falling to his face. He watched with such anguish that almost made James stop in his tracks. Lily had invited him, thinking the summer they spent together warranted them friends. If only she knew.

James never thought he would come. He hoped he had more self preservation than that, but he really should have known better. Regulus is a masochist, believing himself worthy of the pain and suffering he receives and so he welcomes them all with open arms, always silent as the tears fall.

Regulus' hand clenched, as if they would reach for him any moment and James wonders what he'd do if he does. He knew what he'd do. He'd take them. He'd turn his back on his family, his friends, his fiance. He'd reach for him, he'd crawl to him. Regulus could take him apart, break him and destroy his life and James would plead on his knees.

But Regulus did not reach for him. Instead, he buries his hands in his pockets and lets his head falls, tearing their eye contact and suddenly the orchestra felt like a death march and everyone's eyes on him was heavy to carry and he wondered if his legs will give up on him and he'd crash but he reaches the front of the altar too soon and before he knew it, Sirius is patting him on the should as a new song is being played.

But his eyes turn back to his lover and he pleads, he pleads as silently as he could. Take me away. Please. Fight for us. Please. Don't let them do this to us. Please. I love you. I love you. I love you. And I think I'll spend the rest of my life loving you.

But Regulus just looks. His lips shut and his eyes glassy. He watches and James wishes he'd stop. If they could not leave together, then he hoped Regulus would leave now. He hoped the man he loves would turn back and not let himself witness the breaking of his own heart. If he could not save him then he hoped Regulus would save himself.

THE FIRST NIGHT they made love, James could have swore he had just signed his own death certificate. Gods be damned, heaven be damned. He would burn a thousand times over for this. If he was made for hell then let it be hell. He will accept damnation for this.

He never knew stars had flavor till Regulus kissed him. It turns out, they taste like ambition and ancient fire, desperation and self destruction, determination and dark matter, and the mind numbing fear of losing it all. He had never tasted passion like this, love like this.

Pain like this.

It started as a gentle summer breeze, a brush of fingertips against bare skin, a slight shiver in their absence. Then it strengthens, shaking the trees and James pushes his lips against Regulus' with fast matching heartbeats to guide them in the dark.

Then the weak trunk begins to bend and they do too. No longer in control, James' hands find his torso and Regulus' finds his hair. The flowers uproot as they desperately try to get closer, but never close enough.

Eventually, the weather calms. Foreheads against each other as James softly brushes Regulus' hair out of his face. The younger boy buries his head against the older's shoulder as they embrace.

"After I spent what felt like eternity drowning," Regulus whispers, voice breathy. "You taught me how to breathe."

Because they knew. They knew that if they played too much with the unstable flame, it could burn out.

But it's so hard to stay away.

I will love you as Patroclus loved Achilles. With blood under my fingernails and venom on my lips. I will hold you as if you are the world. Not even death could do us part.

LILY LOOKED ETHEREAL as she walked down the aisle, the train of her white gown following behind her like liquid clouds, and he wished his heart would beat out of his chest and his soul would roar as the most beautiful woman walked towards him, fully ready to spend the rest of their lives together.

But he wishes for a lot of things. Every step Lily took felt like another burden added to his shoulders.

After the summer, after Regulus' last note, James had spent weeks trying to chase that feeling. He drank and did cigarettes and drugs. He flew on his broom as fast as he could, drove a car way past the speed limit. He kissed Lily, kissed her skin and touched her as he would touch Regulus. He tried everything, desperate to make his heart beat the way it did during the summer they spent together.

None of it worked. He wonders how anyone can explain the physical pain in his chest when all he wants is to be with the one he loves. What would be a bigger tragedy? That he can't have Regulus? Or that one hundred years from now, no one would know how desperate he had been to be able to keep him?

Would his children find out? Would he tell them about the broken boy who captivated his soul and shattered his heart? Would he explain to them how he had been willing to fight, willing to turn his back on everyone?

"If love is war, I am your soldier." He had said it to Regulus before. He had said it as a joke, trying to hide the desperate truth behind broken humor, but they knew. They both knew he had meant it. He would have fought. He would have fought every god that stood in their way. He would have gone through heaven and hell, to the moon and saturn. He would have fucking set stars aflame for them. He would have fought even if Regulus refused to lift a finger.

But he had fallen for a man who wore blood so gently. One whose purpose was to give light in the dark, to shatter when needed. They say the biggest stars burn brightly and die quickly. James was the sun, but Regulus was a supernova, the biggest explosion anyone had ever seen.

James' eyes don't leave Regulus as Lily comes closer. If only for the last time, if only for the hopelessness of it all, he pleads again. Say the word and I will crawl to you. Say the word. Say the word. Say the word.

But Regulus remains quiet.

THE DAY THEY said goodbye, James finally figured out the exact shade of Regulus' eyes. It's the calm sea shot from miles away like the ones in postcards someone sends you when they love you but not enough to stay.

Regulus loved him. James knew this. He knew it as he knew the sun would rise everyday. But he also knew from the start that it was not enough.

Regulus stood before him, the farthest they had been since the summer started. He looked the same. Same grey eyes, same black hair, same lanky frame. But a different mark brands his skin, not like the ones they give each other during the night. This one came with the terrifying truth. They cannot hide under their covers anymore. There's no running from reality.

"You must have known it would end sooner or later." His voice is thick with emotions, strangled as if he genuinely believed that he deserves the branding on his skin.

James remembers the first night. Regulus had claimed James would break his heart and James had fully accepted the role, believing himself to be the catalyst of their relationship. But it had been Regulus. He had been the first to give up.

"I would have fought," he says, his hands shaking as he stopped them from reaching for his lover. "I would have fought for you."

Regulus smiled sadly. "I know."

"Then let me."

"We were destined to end from the start, my love." Regulus shook his head, as if he couldn't quite believe what James was asking.

James' tears fell now. "I thought we had more time."

"Me too."

James finally took a step toward him, hating the way his touch seemed to burn Regulus, but nevertheless, he didn't pull back. He let their foreheads rest against each other. "I will spend the rest of my life loving you."

Regulus smiled. "And you will be the last thing on my mind as I take my final breath."

i think you will set yourself afire before you realize that even you cannot conquer the sun.

rebellion sits well on you; like a red coat Or the gilt gold burnish of youth.

i do not believe we shall ever see how old age looks on you.

you are breaking my heart.

A MONTH AFTER the wedding, James received a letter. Lily is just getting started on breakfast, their friends meant to arrive in a few hours time.

But the penmanship on the package makes him stop dead in his tracks. He didn't rip the paper as he does the other letters. He opens it carefully, taking his time. If this is the last he'd have of Regulus then he will take it to his grave.

Inside is a lone letter and he slowly unfolds it, terrified it would rip and he'd have nothing but memories of the summer they spent together.

I was so undeserving. And yet, you were so relentless. I pushed ─ you pulled. I wept ─ you embraced. I bled ─ you repaired. I faltered ─ you shushed. I stopped ─ you smiled. I was a disaster ─ the worst of its kind. And yet, you still had the audacity to let me know that I was beautiful.

This is it. I say goodbye to you now, my love. And like I promised, you are the last thing on my mind as I embrace death. I'm sorry you came into my life at a bad time when I truly hated who I was and what I had become. I was broken, damaged, and fading. You fought to save me but there's no more saving that can be done.

I love you. I hope you live a happy life. I truly hope so, even if it's not with me. And I know once upon a time, you loved me too even if you no longer do and that's enough.

I promise you, you will be my last breath. As I die, it will be you in my mind.

Love, RAB

James laughed at first, taking it all as a stupid joke, because surely, it can't be real. He can't be gone. James had spent months loving him, missing him, wanting him. He had gotten used to the ache knowing that he's out there somewhere.

But this was a different type of pain. First, he felt his lungs gasping for air, hot tears streaming down his cheeks in streams. His chest feels tight like it was physically restricting him, like his body was giving up, He couldn't breathe. It felt as if someone had ripped out a piece of his heart, cut off the oxygen and made him live.

An uncontrollable scream broke out of him, one that reached the heavens. It rings with a question. Why? Directed to god even though James no longer believed in him. If there was a god, then how could he let this happen? If there was a god then he must be the cruellest man there is. How could he give James a love that caused cosmic warfares in his soul and ripped it away? What did he ever do to deserve it?

He didn't know how long he sat there clutching that parchment, the last of his lover's remains. He didn't know if it had been Lily who had pulled him up and ripped the last of his lover's memento from his hands. Either way, none of it mattered.

James had died and been brought back to life and now he wanted nothing more than to cut his wrist open than live.

The story ended in death.

[blackinn-n]

Blackinnon headcanons (because @marlymckitten’s lovely ones got me to write a bit again <3 go check on hers!!!!)

Yes. It’s sappy. But I love sappy Blackinnon. I can’t bear angst any longer so enjoy!

Sirius fell in love with her before she fell in love with him. Actually, he fell in love with Marlene before James fell in love with Lily, even if he took longer to realize it. He unconsciously developed a crush on her during their first year and recognize his messy feelings as love when he was a bit older. Anyway, he liked to say to her that he had loved her since he was a kid and Marlene used to roll her eyes and call him a sappy liar — but Sirius was not lying. Not even a bit.

I personally hc that they didn’t start dating at Hogwarts. Sirius was, emotionally, too much of a mess to actually sort out what he felt. It was not that he wasn’t sure of her — he knew he loved Marlene. He was certain of that. He was just scared to hurt her in any way possible, and though less of himself — he though he wasn’t able to make her happy, and he could not bear it.

It was Marlene who made the first move. One night, she just kissed him. They were alone in London, laughing, smoking and chatting at 1 AM while the rest of the gang had already went home. She just did it. She cupped his face in her hands and kissed him. Hard, passionately. It took him out of breath.

As their relationship became solid, it was clear to both of them that what was happening was that.. they were settling. To Sirius, the word has seem horrendous till she had told him what she felt for him. But he was happier that he had ever been with her and was actually pretty content with the perspective of being hers for the rest of his life.

They weren’t too much into PDA. Sirius resting a hand on her tights, or holding hands was ok — but they couldn’t stand couples who made out constantly while they were out with friends. It was totally different when they were drunk: in that occasions they could not take their hands off each other and used to disappear so as to shag in some bathroom or to go home (to shag. Yes, they did it nonstop)

They had a matching tattoo. They had gone out one evening in March, just the two of them. It was supposed to be a romantic dinner but it had naturally lead to a drunk night in some club in London. After that, they had found some weird (and probably too dirty to be trusted) tattoo shop which was still opened at night and decided to go for it. They were too tipsy to be taken seriously, but managed to explain to the tattooer what they wanted. At the end, Sirius got the written “star of the sky” in Marlene’s handwriting, and she had “star of the sea” in his, on their pelvis. It was sappy, they knew it, but it was them.

Marlene absolutely adored Sirius. She thought he was breathtaking. That’s true, a lot of people thought that — Sirius was indeed a very handsome man, but to Marlene, Sirius was much more than that. Marlene loved everything about him. She loved stroking his hair and caressing the side of his face. She loved when he took her hands into his. She loved kissing his full lips and holding his gaze, despite it made her blush most of the time. She loved feeling his weight on her when he fell asleep while cuddling. She loved feeling him inside of her, it made her feel a sense of fullness and connection she had never felt with someone before.

James was so happy when they got together. He wasn’t even the slightest angry or upset at them, though they knew he would have killed them both if they hurt each other.

Lily was ecstatic when they started dating, too. Perhaps even more than her husband, considering she was the first person Sirius admitted he was in love with Marlene to. It happened during their seventh year at Hogwarts. Lily was looking for Marls — she knew the Astronomy Tower was her and Sirius’ spot and expected to find her there, but only him was present that evening. They talked quite a lot and at one point he just slipped it out. It felt so scaring, but so, so good. Lily promised not to tell a soul, not even to James and Sirius trusted her. She also advised him to tell her, but he knew he needed more time.

He desired a family with her but was scared to bring the topic up — he didn’t really think he would have really been much of a father material with the upbringing he had. His worse nightmare was perhaps inflicting on his children the same pain he had had to endure during his childhood — the idea scared him shitless. But one day, they talked about it. They approached the subject shyly, as if having different perspectives would have risked to break what they had. When Sirius told her it would have be nice, to have kids one day, Marlene could not suppress the wide, genuine smile that appeared on her face. “You’d really want them?” “Yes. With you, I would want them. I think I would be a shit father, but with you to balance I think they’d turn up nice” “That’s bullshit. You will be a wonderful dad.” “I will be? Not “would”?” “Yep. You will. I think we should talk about it… having kids, one day.” Sirius had never been happier.

Marlene’s family was fond of Sirius. Her parents and brother especially. And of course Euphemia and Fleamont loved Marlene — she was James’ first friend ever. Euphemia confessed them once that she had been planning their wedding since fifth year (James laughed a bit to much for Marlene’s liking after hearing that).

Marlene once had called Walburga Black a “fucking cow”. She hadn’t just called her that, she had YELLED it on the platform before taking Sirius hand and making him follow her on the train. She had heard a sneaky comment from her: it was the usual babbling about Sirius being a shame, a failure for being how he was, for hanging out with dirty mudbloods and staying at the Potters. She could not take it. Although her mother (who had intercepted her daughter’s furious expression) had tried to stop her, she had just walked over and yelled at Walburga Black, a witch from a noble and ancient family in the Magical Community, that she was a fucking cow. Around lots, lots of people. Sirius thought he had never loved her more.

Once Sirius told her he wanted to shave his beard, and she screamed, horrified and threatened not to have sex with him for a month if he really did it.

For his 23rd birthday, Marlene gifted him a handful of Polaroids of her nudes, along with his real present. Sirius remained in total awe for a few seconds and then looked at her like a puppy who has received the best toy ever. He really was a simple man, not needing much to be happy.

Sirius couldn’t cook for shit. He could barely prepare a toast without burning something. And most of the time, when he was hungry, he forgot he could use magic. That meant he was not able to surprise her with breakfast in bed or some thing like that — okay, he knew how to make coffee or how to spread jam on bread, he was not that dumb. Anyway, Marlene used to tease him by saying he would starve if she refused to cook for the rest of his days. “I can always eat you, you know” “You are incredible, Black”

7th year’s St Valentine’s Day was perhaps the worst one Marlene had spent in her seventeen years on the Earth. Not that she had ever celebrated it (she hated St Valentine’s Day, the sappy promises, the fake couples who put on a good face during the trip to Hogsmeade so as to show off even if half school knew one of them was shagging someone else. She just couldn’t bear it), but that year every. single. one of her friends had a date. Lily went with James, Remus had gone to Hogsmeade with a bloke he had met in the summer, Alice went with Frank, Mary had been asked by a quite good looking boy who was part of the same club as hers, Emmeline and Dorcas went together (their first public trip after their coming out) and even Peter had managed to set up a date with a really nice girl he had had a crush on since fifth year. And Sirius… well, she supposed he was shagging three or four girls at the same time. Marlene spent most of her time in the library, catching up with her homework, and after a rather depressing lunch alone she hid herself in the Common Room who was occupied only by first and second years who could not go to the village yet. She read a book until she heard someone calling her name. She didn’t even had to turn around to know who it was. Nobody called her Lene. They walked through the empty corridors and corners of the school, perfectly comfortable with one another. He asked her what she had done that day, but she didn’t ask him back. She didn’t want to know if he had gone to Hogsmeade with someone. What she didn’t know was that, yes, he had gone to the village… to buy her flowers. They following morning, when she woke up, she found a beautiful bouquet of tulips — her favorites — of all colors. The was no card attached and it took Lily twenty minutes to convince Marlene that they really were for her.

Marlene’s dream had always been to visit Paris. When she was ten, she promised herself that she would only have gone with the love of her life — Marlene pretended to be nauseated by romance, but the truth was that she was a hopeless romantic herself. She kept the promise. One year or so into their relationship, Sirius and Marlene stayed in Paris for a week. One night they went to a bar and returned to the apartment quite intoxicated and extremely horny, so the usual. They shagged everywhere, on the couch, on the bed, on the floor, by the fucking window, not caring who could see them. Once they were finished, they were laying on the couch, naked, only covered by a thin blanket to protect them from the chilly air, their bodies entangled. She told him about her promise. He just looked at her, his eyes full of pure love. And he told her. And it was not scary, quite the contrary, actually. “I love you” he simply said. “I love you so much, Marls” She tried to reply, but her voice was thick with emotion. He understood anyway and gently kissed her, thinking he had finally found something worth living for. And it was love, it had always been love.

[billsfangearring]

[Rec List] The Wolfstar Yearbook: 2004

Happy U.S. Labor Day Weekend/Canadian Labour Day Weekend! I have selected and reviewed what I consider to be the eight best, most memorable Wolfstar fics completed in 2004.

Fics Reviewed:

A Creature Void of Form by ignipes

Coffee and Cigarettes by victoria_p (musesfool)

Liars Leaving My House by @imochan-fic

The Love Song of Sirius Black by @kaydeefalls

Mapmakers (Making Moony Laugh: The Suicide Is Painless Remix) by Casira

Stealing Harry by @copperbadge

That the Science of Cartography is Limited by Rave

Three Days (The Rebuilding the Temple Remix) by victoria_p (musesfool)

Reviews below the cut.

Context: In 2004, we were still trying to recover from Order of the Phoenix, which came out the previous year. The “Prisoner of Azkaban” movie was released in July, which combined with Order to create a lot of hype around these characters and this ship. It was a great year for Wolfstar fics!

Disclaimers:

My selections are based on my subjective taste and what I personally have read. YMMV.

I have done my best to flag potential triggers. Please let me know if I missed something.

I know some of these fics have a different year listed on AO3. I used the earliest posting dates I could find on any site but provided AO3 links for convenience.

I did not consider non-magical/modern AUs for this post, though I do read and enjoy them.

On to the fics!

A Creature Void of Form by ignipes

Length: 6,497 words

Era: Interwar period

POV: Remus and Sirius

Summary: Christmas, 1994. Two men, a cave, a hippogriff, some blankets, a hot meal, a blizzard, a bottle of vino rosso, and a conversation.

My Review: I don't see Sirius’s year living in the cave outside Hogsmeade explored very often, and “A Creature Void of Form” draws out all the awkwardness and poignant regret that I’d expect to see in a reunion at that time. Sirius’s mental health is not the best here and his lack of socialization shows. He’s still holding on to a lot of anger and uncertainty, whereas Remus has had years to accept everything that’s happened. I especially enjoy the bit about noticing the changes in each other’s voices and the way the silence between them is almost a living thing.

Vibe: Rusty devotion with an unresolved ending.

Illustrative Quote: He's going to let the silence lurk between them, a cold dark formless thing, reaching from the fire and across the ridiculous blue and yellow blanket, with fingers and tentacles that Sirius can feel but not see.

Coffee and Cigarettes by victoria_p (musesfool)

Length: 2,089 words

Era: First War

POV: Sirius

Summary: Sirius hopes he's doing the right thing.

My Review: This fic is like an open wound. “Coffee and Cigarettes” is a striking look at the lead-up to Halloween 1981 after Sirius has convinced himself that Remus is the traitor. They meet up after some time apart, and Sirius can’t stop baiting Remus to cover up his own pain and regret at the end of their relationship. He’s questioning his history with Remus and whether their relationship would be salvageable if it turns out he’s wrong. They’re so young and so tired at this point in the First War, and their angst, desire, and doubt are palpable.

Vibe: Raw betrayal with a painful ending.

Illustrative Quote: He isn’t sure he believes two people can get close anymore, if he and Remus have drifted so far apart.

Liars Leaving My House by imochan

Length: 1,043 words

Era: Hogwarts

POV: Remus

Summary: The boys. The shack. One last gasp, in 7 parts.

My Review: This fic covers a lot of ground with very few words. “Liars Leaving My House” tells the story of Remus’s Seventh Year in seven atmospheric snapshots set in the Shrieking Shack. The whimsical little glimpses into the Marauders’ dynamic and Remus’s relationship with Sirius range from drunken shenanigans to hot and dirty stolen moments. Each scene is sharply drawn and gives you just enough before jumping to the next vignette.

Vibe: Raunchy bonding with a hopeful ending.

Illustrative Quote: Sirius kisses him now, and they can hear James yelling outside, obscenities for the hell of it, and Peter retching into the melting snow, and Ah, Remus thinks, Ah, Romance.

The Love Song of Sirius Black by kaydeefalls

Content Warning(s): canonical major character death

Length: 6,988 words

Era: Multiple

POV: Sirius

Summary: Or, Five Things That Never Happened To Sirius Black.

My Review: This fic is poetry disguised as prose and somewhat experimental in style. In “The Love Song of Sirius Black,” Sirius experiences a series of could-have-beens and visits Remus in a dream after falling through the Veil. Sirius’s slow acceptance of how he had been living on borrowed time and should not come back is haunting and lovely, and the way the fic moves through the possibilities—good and bad—is exquisite. I had Jeff Buckley’s version of “Hallelujah” running through my head and teared up as I read this.

Vibe: Reflective closure with a peaceful ending.

Illustrative Quote: "Please stop coming back," Remus whispers, and kisses him.

Mapmakers (Making Moony Laugh: The Suicide Is Painless Remix) by Casira

Content Warning(s): implied/referenced suicide attempt and self-injury

Length: 8,973 words

Era: Second War

POV: Fred

Summary: Discovering just who Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs are brings up even more questions for Fred—and when fate takes another of them away, it's time to go back to the source for some answers.

My Review: This fic is a remix of “Making Moony Laugh” by Raven, which carries the same content warnings. “Mapmakers” is the story of the Marauders, the story of how Fred Weasley discovers who made the Marauder's Map, the story of Remus and Sirius, and the story of Remus after Sirius’s death all rolled into one. I’ve never read a Wolfstar fic from Fred’s perspective before, and Fred’s understated thoughtfulness and his desire to understand is both touching and heartbreaking. Casira avoids all of the pitfalls writers often fall into when writing the Weasley twins. This fic made me cry—you’ll want to have something light and happy queued up to read afterward.

Vibe: Searching care with a bittersweet ending.

Illustrative Quote: Fred supposed it might have been impossible to know, except with the benefit of hindsight, that Sirius' brash talent would be the end of him, that Peter's sneaky cleverness would be the end of James, that Remus' steady hand would hold so much together until the very end—when it almost dealt his own death.

Stealing Harry by copperbadge

Note: “Stealing Harry” is the first fic in a 443,000-word series. The series has been abandoned, but the author posted detailed notes about where it would have gone. This rec is specifically for “Stealing Harry.”

Content Warning(s): canonical child neglect/abuse at the beginning and violence toward children in later chapters

Length: 99,937 words

Era: Interwar period

Trope: Raising Harry

POV: Multiple

Summary: In an alternate universe where Sirius Black never went to Azkaban, Harry divides his life between the Dursleys’ house and Mr. Black’s bookshop—until Sirius realises what the Dursleys are doing to him, and takes him away from their care.

My Review: The OG raising Harry AU! This was one of the two most famous Wolfstar fics back in the day. “Stealing Harry” reads like a novel and has a similar tone to the books. Peter, who is still at large, serves as the primary antagonist in this fic; Snape, the Weasleys, and the Tonks are our protagonists’ most important allies. There are hints that copperbadge correctly predicted two of the big revelations from Deathly Hallows—namely, Snape’s love for Lily and Harry’s status as a horcrux. In terms of the Wolfstar angle, Remus has quietly loved Sirius for years and is content with their friendship, whereas Sirius wants to dive in head-first after his epiphany. I love the development of their bond with eight-year-old Harry—who is a bit more earnest and less snarky than in the books—and the combination of parenting and privately exploring their evolving relationship feels very adult.

Vibe: Domestic love and looming danger with a hopeful ending.

Illustrative Quote: "I'm half of all we've done, Remus.”

That the Science of Cartography is Limited by Rave

Note: AO3 account required—alternate link here.

Length: 7,364 words

Era: Multiple

POV: Remus

Summary: The whole thing is silly and illogical. There has to be a rhythm. There has to be a sense. Because there are things that make sense about living, and you can’t come to a logical conclusion from an illogical premise, it doesn’t work like that.

My Review: “That the Science of Cartography is Limited” is one of the most hauntingly beautiful stories I have ever read—published literature included. Remus tries to carry on alone in Grimmauld Place after Sirius’s death, mourning him through a series of Hogwarts-era flashbacks. The prose is gripping and evocative, and Grimmauld Place and the Marauder’s Map are sharply rendered motifs. Sirius’s characterization is pointed even through Remus’s memories, contrasting his entitlement and casual cruelty with his deep love for those he deems worthy. Rave also lays the groundwork for Peter’s betrayal in a quietly realistic way. There’s obviously a lot of thematic overlap between this one and “Mapmakers” (above), but the two fics are very different in tone, style, and perspective. I had a hollow ache in my chest after reading this.

Vibe: Potent grief with a heartbreaking ending.

Illustrative Quote: Remus has heard of haunted houses being full of the dead; he thinks it is strange that anyone could find this terrible.

Three Days (The Rebuilding the Temple Remix) by victoria_p (musesfool)

Length: 15,107 words

Era: Second War

POV: Sirius

Summary: It seems they have both learned to hope.

My Review: This fic is a remix of one of my 2003 picks! “Rebuilding the Temple” reimagines kestrelsan’s Remus-POV “Three Days” from Sirius’s perspective. It’s the first fic I’ve found that focuses on the reversal of Remus and Sirius’s power dynamic post-Azkaban. James and Sirius were the ringleaders of their little group growing up, but Remus is quite clearly the leader and Sirius the follower in their 30s in canon. musesfool really gets into Sirius’s headspace as he reflects on that shift and on his childhood while he’s stuck in Grimmauld Place, and by pairing this fic with the original you can see just how much he and Remus misunderstand and speak past one another.

Vibe: Restless melancholy with a hopeful ending.

Illustrative Quote: Grimmauld Place is nothing but Azkaban writ small, with the bitter pains of childhood lurking in every shadowed corner with no respite.

[roonilwazlibimagines]

Ooooh, can you do either a Sirius or a Draco blurb of when he tells the reader not to cum but she couldn't help it and ends up cumming??

Ok I’ll make this into a proper little thing with Sirius because I want more Sirius :// - but let me know if you want Draco ;)

“Sirius,” she cried out his name as his finger came down to tease her clit, “I’m so close,” she was on her back with her body moving every time Sirius snapped his hips into her. 

“You’re not cumming yet, pretty girl,” he grinned down at her chuckling at the way she arched her back desperately trying to follow his tauntingly soft movements. 

“I can’t,” her breathing was heavy and she knew if Sirius continued this she wouldn’t be able to hold it any longer. 

“You will,” he grunted as she clenched around him and as her legs began to shake she knew that she wouldn’t be able to hold it any longer, “because you’re a good little girl who listens, aren’t you?”

“No,” she cried out moving her hand to overlap his and trying to stop his actions, “no, no, no,” her body thrashed as she felt herself let go, “I’m sorry,” she whimpered as she let her head fall back with her eyes screwed shut not wanting to face the disappointed look she knew Sirius would have. She squealed as Sirius let his hand fall down on her clit making her thighs clench together at the sting. 

“You dirty little slut,” he let his thumb collect the wetness which was threatening to fall down her thighs, “too desperate to follow a simple instruction,” he tutted making her whimper. 

“I’m sorry,” she breathed out trying to give him an innocent look, “I couldn’t hold it any longer and I-”

“Made a liar out of me,” he finished for her as he slapped the inside of her thigh making her pout, “and you know what happens to naughty girls who come without permission, don’t you?” he hovered over her so that he could caress her cheek. 

“They get punished,” she mumbled making him trace over her lips and repeat, “they get punished.” 

He sat on the edge of the bed and patted his lap making her let out a little sigh as she reluctantly started to get up. 

“I think I like it better with you over my lap,” she went over his lap and he put his leg in between hers so that she would stay still, “better access this way,” he let his fingers tease her entrance but he let go as he felt her try to move her legs. 

“I’m sorry,” her voice was soft and she wasn’t sure if he heard her or not. 

“You will be, sweetheart,” he let his hands caress her thigh before squeezing her bum and pressing a gentle kiss on the soft skin, “you’re going to count for me and thank me for each one, okay?” she hummed in response and cried out when his hand came down on her bum, trying to move under his strong grip. 

“Good girl.”

[dracoladon]

Hello lovely! What about est relationship + borrowing clothes? Maybe Draco wearing Harry’s shirts or jumpers? Could be as fluffy or smutty (or both) as you want 💗 - sitp

thank u liv for this lovely prompt. fair warning: buckle your seatbelts for the not one but two sets of parentheses within another set of parentheses.  

i was tragically torn between soft and smutty in this one. we’ve ended up with kind of both and kind of neither — enjoy 😔

explicit(ish), 1389 words 

The first time, Draco takes Harry’s jumper. It’s his, his favourite, knitted by Molly and given to him when he was twenty years old. It’s blue, and has a whale on the front in a deep navy tincture (the noughties were when Molly entered her experimental phase — instead of letters, everyone's Christmas sweater bore some kind of (no offence, Molly, but utterly random) image. Ginny’s had a platypus on it, Percy’s had yew branches up the sleeves, and Ron’s, an impressively detailed Muggle toaster (??) across the chest.) 

Whatever. Logic aside, Harry loves his jumper, and he loves his whale, who Ron dubbed Herbert towards the befuddled, tipsy end of the night. (“Herb for short,” he said, and then collapsed into his eggnog.) He loves that Molly chose it for him, the Warming charms entwined in the wool that feel like her fierce, protective magic against his skin, and the way it’s become loose and pliant with age. 

Unfortunately for Harry (and Herb), Draco likes the jumper too. Likes it so much that he sees fit to employ every Slytherin-y wile in his arsenal to try and steal it. 

“I don’t understand why you covet poor Herb, Draco,” Harry says, when he goes looking for the jumper and finds it missing from it’s drawer again. “I would have thought him nowhere near sophisticated enough for your tastes.”

Draco sniffs and rolls onto his stomach. “I’m sure I haven’t a clue what you’re on about,” he says, and manages to sound lofty even with his face half buried in a pillow. 

* * *

The second time, Harry takes Draco’s tie. It’s a silvery grey one that’s the same colour as his eyes, a custom made gift from Pansy for his last birthday. 

And Potter, the cheeky fuck, has stolen it. A looter, ruthlessly purloined it in an unscrupulous heist, that he’s probably been planning ever since they first started dating, or is it why he even pursued Draco in the first place(?!), just to whisk it away from everything it knows, and—

“That’s quite enough,” Harry says. “And I didn’t take your tie.”

Draco slams his hand down on the kitchen bench. “Lies! Fraudulence!—”

“—I took ransom. You’ll get your tie back when you return my son.”

Well. Well! Draco pretends to dust lint from his sleeve. He says, cooly, “Herbert prefers my company, anyway.”

“He does not.”

* * *

The third time, Draco takes Harry’s Muggle jeans. 

And he’s a ferrety little ferret faced liar, because he’s complained about the jeans in question since the first time he saw them. 

“How did you get the knees so dirty?” Draco said. He looked the picture of aristocratic disdain with his nose all crinkled up like that. “Have you been sucking cock al fresco?”

“We’re coming back to that,” Harry had said (and they did), and then shut Draco up with a nice, long snog when he started on the rips and the faded denim and the fit-so-tragically-loose-I-can’t-even-see-your-arse.

And now Draco is wearing them, slung low on his hips as he shrugs off his coat. 

“You fuck,” Harry says, partially because those are his and Draco is an insufferable hypocrite, and partially (mostly) because the jeans are so big around Draco’s waist that Harry can see the cuspated jut of his hip bones and the little silver ring in his navel. 

Draco looks down, all feigned innocence. He says, “Don’t you think they suit me?”

Harry mutters, “I’ll suit you in a bloody minute,” and pulls him by the wrist towards the men’s, where he sucks him off so hard and fast that Draco bites the crook of his elbow till it bleeds.

* * *

The fourth time, Harry takes Draco’s slippers. And Draco’s feet are cold. 

“Those are mine. Mine,” Draco tells Herbert, looking down at his chest as he shuffles around his cold flat in the thickest socks he could find. 

He knows he’s not exactly a sentient being, but Draco would like to think Herbert looks sympathetic all the same. 

The rugs on his tiled floors are for purposes more aesthetic than comfort — it’s bloody cold in the mornings, and without Harry to tangle his legs around or order to the kitchen so he doesn’t have to brave it himself, he needs. His. Slippers. 

The thing about it that’s most troubling, really, is that, was Draco less of an idiot (Pansy’s words) who had just chosen floorboards for his flat and not mosaic tile (because he lives in Britain and not fucking Madrid, so on,) he probably wouldn’t mind that Harry has pilfered from him yet again. 

Harry’s stopped asking for his jumper back. Or rather, extorting Draco until it’s returned. And Draco’s content in leaving his tie wound around the wrought iron posts of Harry’s bed, and Harry thinks his jeans look better on Draco than they ever did on him. 

It’s hideous, really, because Draco has never even liked sharing (Draco does not share, in fact), but somehow he’s ended up with a wardrobe that’s more Harry’s than it is his, and the black trousers that flatter his arse so brilliantly are gone, and so is the faded Quidditch jersey he only wears when he’s ill. And he doesn’t even mind, because he knows when he goes to Harry’s flat he’ll find it all stuffed into the antique dressing table drawers taken from Sirius’ room at Grimmauld Place, smelling like Harry and his warm, sapid laundry soap. 

Draco says to Herbert, “This is your fault.” 

* * *

This time, Draco takes Harry’s dressing gown. He’s wearing it when he emerges from the bathroom, water still sluicing off the delicate ridge of his nose, off his hair and down his back because he never dries himself properly. (I have sensitive skin. I’ll break out in hives. Harry knows it’s just an excuse to lounge naked on the couch while he “air dries”, but whatever.)

“You’re dripping all over the carpet,” Harry says, leaning on his palms against the door frame of his bedroom.

Draco says, looking around at him, “Ah. My sweet. I was just coming to fetch you.”

“Why?”

“I’ve drawn us a bath,” says Draco.

Harry had planned on making some tea and watching Come Dine With Me, perhaps Floo calling Ron and Hermione to see how the renovations on their flat are coming along. But Draco is all wet and warm and glossy, and smelling like the expensive bubbles he refuses to bathe without.

Harry lets Draco lead him to the bathroom, where the floor is wet with his footprints and the air is thick with perfume and soft, cradling breeze from the cracked open window.

“This is my dressing gown,” Harry says, stepping closer so he can slide it from Draco’s slight shoulders.

Draco reaches for Harry’s flies. “And these are my knickers, you troll,” he says, and hooks his thumbs into the waistband.

Once both disrobed (Harry’s shirt flung over the counter, the pilfered dressing gown puddled on the floor, both of them hard and flushing) they step into the bath. Draco likes the water scalding despite his dainty skin, but he must know Harry prefers not to be boiled alive because it’s just sultry, just warm.

Gold fretted shadows slide over Draco’s face as they settle, legs tangled at the knees, Harry tracing shapes around the delicate knob of Draco’s ankle.

Harry feels elastic in the water, melting with pale, gauzy limbs draped all over him.

“C’mere,” Draco says. “I want to wash your hair.”

When Harry hands him a bottle, he says, “Not with that utter swill. Mine.”

Draco means his shampoo, but Harry knows he means him a little bit, too.

A soft, pleasurable thrill runs through him. Harry loves the smell of Draco’s shampoo. He thinks it smells like wide open spaces, like walking over the crest of a hill. He also thinks it smells a bit like spices, like star anise and cinnamon, and lemon zest and sage. The scent on the bottle reads Cedar, which, okay. Fine.

Draco uncaps it, squeezes a pearlescent puddle into his palm. He sets himself on Harry’s lap, and takes his cock slowly, sweetly, chest to chest, with his fingers twisted in Harry’s hair.

Harry rocks him in the water, his head bowed into Draco’s collar bones as he laves and rinses, soft and soft and slow.

* * *

most important things in my life (in ascending order)

friends 

family

harry being hot for Draco in low slung trousers

draco having a belly button ring that is exposed in said trousers 

[band--psycho]

Band Psychos 1.5k Followers Bingo Masterlist

Here’s the masterlist for my 1.5k follower bingo challenge (thank you all again for the constant support ~ I love you all💛)

I also just wanna say a huge thank you to all of the people on this list who are taking part in my challenge, every single one of you is such a talented writer (and friend) and I am so excited to read the stories you come up with! (If you’re not already, go and follow these amazing authors!)💛

@hotdamnhunnam

Jax Teller (Jacques Telière) x Reader-Anarchy At The Masquerade(Masquerade Ball AU)

(Smut-Orgasm Denial)

Raymond Smith x Reader-Professor Smith(College AU)

Charlie Hunnam x Reader-You’re Wet, You’re Naked / Part 2 / Part 3(Losing A Bet)

Charlie Hunnam x Reader-Dirty Little Liar(Smut-Impact Play)

(”Give me a chance”)

(Smut-Roleplay)

(Past Lives AU)

(Enemies to Lovers)

@mrsnegan

Negan x Virign!Reader-Dirty Little Secret (Character x Virgin!Reader)

Negan x Reader-Movie Night (Movie Quote)

Negan x Reader-Pitch Black Impala (Smut-Dom/sub)

Negan x Reader-Calm Before The Storm(Cookies)

(Fluff)

(Roadtrip)

(”You were right”)

(Hospital AU)

(”I’m fine”)

@xbreezymeadowsx

Chibs Telford x Reader-Cheeky Chibby (rosy cheeks)

Drew McIntyre x Reader-Kilts And Leather Jackets (Leather Jacket)

(Dinner Date)

(“You can’t do this”)

(First Argument)

(Tattoo Shop AU)

(Messy Hair)

(Smut-Breath-Play)

Jon Kilpatrick x Reader-Not Good Enough(New Character)

@talsiaa

Sirius x Remus-Tattoo Shop AU (Tattoo Shop AU)

(Follower Prompt)

(Forbidden Love)

(Character Death)

(First Kiss)

Surprise Gift)

(“Come back”)

(Phobia)

(”Wait”)

@little-diable

(Love Triangle)

(Past Lives AU)

(Soulmate AU)

(Smut-Car Sex)

(”You left me”)

(Character Death)

(Lovers To Enemies)

(Sunrise)

(Amnesia)

@gryffindors-weasley

Ron Weasley x Reader-Paperbacks And Love Letters (Bookstore AU)

(Pillow Fort)

(Comfort)

(Character x Sick!Reader)

(Broken Glasses)

(Fantasy AU)

(”How did we get here?”)

Draco Malfoy x Reader-With You(Insomnia)

(An Old Flame)

@drabblewithfrannybarnes

(Fluffy Jumpers)

(Roommate AU)

(”You’re an asshole)

(1920s AU)

(Angst)

(An Old Flame)

(Roadtrip)

(Smut-One Night Stand)

(First Love)

@darthwheezely

(Music Fic)

(First House)

(Headcanon)

(”You owe me”)

(Accidental Marriage)

(First Love)

(Smut-Virtual Sex)

(Alternate Ending)

(The Morning After)

@flanagirl-Bingo Masterlist

Shepard x Reader-Revelation(Being Lost / Found)

Michaelangelo x Reader-Come Fly With Me(Fluff)

Cicero x Reader-Cold Coffee(Coffee Shop AU)

Kipling x Reader-Banana Brain(Smut-Rough Sex)

Markus x Reader-Rides-On The Storm(Kidnapped)

Michael Mack x Reader-Line Of Fire(Fake Dating)

Chibs Telford x Reader-Discipline(Dialogue Prompt)

Duncan Reed x Reader-Temporary Wings(Unrequited Love)

McClellen x Reader-Eye Of The Tiger(Movie Day / Lazy Day)

@heloisedaphnebrightmore

Ben Barnes x Reader-The Thief (Follower Prompt)

(Touch Starved)

Ron Weasley  x Reader-Honest Mistake(Drunken Confession)

(Rain)

(First Anniversary)

(”Let’s just stay in bed”)

Ben Barnes x Reader-Hopelessly In Love(Short Black Dress)

(Insomnia)

(Proposal)

@abadamn

(Crossover)]

(A Summer Romance)

(Blanket)

(Fantasy AU)

(Sunset)

(Headcanon)

(First Date)

(Wedding AU)

(”I’m scared”)

@xacatalepsyx

(Moodboard)

(Royal AU)

(1920s AU)

(Secret Relationship)

(Sunset)

(Enemies To Lovers)

(Online Friends AU)

(”Don’t go)

(Love Triangle)

@leah-halliwell92

(Lovers To Enemies)

(Sunset)

(“You’re not as quiet as you think you are”)

(College AU)

(Alternate Ending)

(Smut-Car Sex)

(Dinner Date)

(Broken Glasses)

(Short Black Dress)

@theweasleyslut

(”Why didn’t you tell me”)

(Music Fic)

(Stargazing)

(Roommate AU)

(Fluff)

First Date)

(First Child)

(Moodboard)

(Smut-Breeding Kink)

@impala1967dwinchester

Dean Winchester x Reader-What’s Left Behind (Scars)

Sam Winchester x Reader-Disney(Movie Quote)

(First Pet)

(Rain)

(Late Night Adventure)

(Fluffy Jumpers)

(First Child)

(Moodboard)

(“Stay with me”)

@elvish-sky

Legolas x Reader-The Best Day (Beach)

(Movie Quote)

(Alternate Ending)

(Moodboard)

(Being Lost / Found)

(“You can’t do this”)

(Mutual Pining)

(Reunited)

(Crime / Mafia AU)

@goddessofdawns

Natasha Romanoff x Reader-Beautiful Loss (Character Death)

Natasha Romanoff x Reader-Sleepless Nights (Hot Chocolate)

Peter Parker x Reader-Don’t Go (Dialogue Prompt)

(Reunited)

(Mutual Pining)

(Royal AU)

(Unrequited Love)

Peter Parker x Reader-Revealed Secrets(Dialogue Prompt)

(The Morning After)

@smediumsmeatbae

(Flower Shop AU)

(Smut-Threesome)

(”Is that my t-shirt?”)

(Fake Dating)

(Cookies)

(Smut-Bondage / Restraints)

(Character x Virgin!Reader)

(Surprise Gift)

(Headcanon)

@outer-banks-bitches

Cisco Ramon x Reader-Early Mornings (Messy Hair)

(Bodyguard AU)

(Crossover)

(Enemies To Lovers)

(”I think I love you”)

(Losing A Bet)

(Hot Chocolate)

(Forbidden Lover)

(Love At First Sight)

@autumnleaves1991-blog

(Pillow Fort)

(Sunset)

(Smut)

(Past Lives AU)

(Friends To Lovers)

(Cookies)

(Amnesia)

(“You left me”)

(Crossover)

@may85

(Love Triangle)

(Music Fic) 

(Road Trip)

(Dinner Date)

(Smut-One Night Stand)

(Leather Jacket)

(”Is that my t-shirt?”)

(Alternate Ending)

(First Child)

[askclaireelford]

hi sirius! do you wanna go to the library with me? [distracting sirius until he go to surprise birthday party]

haha, you know me so well, noel. let’s go to the library!

[at library] ....what do you mean they don’t have the my little pony comic books? are you serious?? i wanted to read my favorite books at the library on my birthday! this is absolutely outrageous. i am going to file a complaint to the manager of this establishment.

oh well.. maybe there’s another book you’d like to read?

no. i only want to read those my little pony books. those are the best books on earth, noel!

um.. ok then... want to go to... space museum???

no!! i don’t want to go to space museum!! do not take me there.

i’m sorry sirius..... we have to go there... so um... please come with me...

meanwhile at mansion

are you sure the cake is absolutely perfect??

yeah br- i mean.. wilardo.. we could add a few more twilight spark-

it’s literally fine. the cake is covered with glitter and my little pony stuff. i can’t even see the actual cake anymore, let’s just leave it alone.

but... it could be more perfect... if we just added this crown to the top..

yeah! crown, crown, crown!

uh ok.. well just remember sirius is supposed to come home soon.. really soon.. like 5 minutes

great!! we’ll be prepared!!

wait.... did we remember to put the lavender outside??????

runs outside to check

wait!! miss claire, sirius will-

meanwhile sirius and noel almost to mansion

noel. why did you drag me there? and why didn’t you tell me of your hidden strength? that was actually horrifying. and, i didn’t even want to go to the space museum!! i wanted to read my little pony!! the stars are okay and all, but twilight sparkle is-

....sorry. i don’t want to be rude. anyways, we’re almost home so-

is that.. claire? what’s she putting up on the door? ....lavender?

aaa sirius don’t look um..... unicorn! over there! look!!!

sprints back inside after putting lavender

wh.. unicorn!! over th..... noel. you liar. you dirty little liar. how could you do this to me? how very rude of you! and how deceptive.. to trick me, the lord of the mansion, into believing there is a unicorn there? what has gotten into everyone? i haven’t seen anyone else all day, and claire normally bothers me every hour at least! and your gorilla strength.. and now your lies?! something is up. inform me now, noel, or you will face severe consequences.

i.. i’m so sorry sirius.. i didn’t want to... i.... just go inside.. it’ll answer your questions

sirius go inside

AH!!! it’s dark in here! noel! i’m scared of the dark, can you turn the lights-

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIRIUS!!!!!!!!!!

wh.... a birthday party... for me...? i...

WWAAAAAAAAAAAAAOJWFNEIUHWJFEOJHUIBAWUEFJONJFNS (he’s crying)

oh no sirius :( what’s wrong? do you not like the party decorations? sorry, ashe and i tried to tell wilardo the cake didn’t have enough my little pony stuff..

or.. is this about how bad your day was? i’m sorry sirius, they told me to keep you distracted until this time, i didn’t know how else to-

no.. none of you did anything wrong.. i just.. i’m so happy you remembered me.. and cared so much... thank you... claire.. noel.. ashe.. wilardo..

aw of course we remember you sirius!! happy birthday!!!!

[t4twolfstar]

Pearl Jam songs as the marauders' story

listen here

explanations under read more

Red Mosquito - Remus is bit by Greyback

two steps ahead of him, punctures in your neck…/ Hoverin' just above your bed... (2x)/ I was bitten...must have been the devil…/ He was just paying me…/ A little visit, reminding me of his presence…

Jeremy - most of the song, Sirius

Okay so we’re going to look at the verses not the refrain for this one bc (TW su*) this song is based on an actual boy who diy died in front of his class so like no we’re not relating to that part but the “Clearly I remember/ Pickin’ on the boy/ Seemed a harmless little fuck/ But we unleashed the lion….Daddy didn't give affection, no/And the boy was something that mommy wouldn't wear”

Daughter - Sirius at home

Trans sirius in an abusive household………. “Mother reads aloud, child tries to understand it/Tries to make her proud/ The shades go down, it's in her head/ Painted room, can't deny that something's wrong/ Don’t call me daughter, not fit to”

Leash - Sirius and Remus’ toxic codependent love and then yelling at the establishment/people who say they’re too young going too deep too hard too fast

“Troubled souls unite/ We got ourselves tonight, oh/ I am fuel you are friends we got the means to make amends/ I am lost I'm no guide but I'm by your side/ I am right by your side….We will find a way we will find our place/ Drop the leash drop the leash/Get outta' my fuckin' face”

Why Go? - Sirius becoming disenchanted w his family

Trans Sirius too of course. She seems to be stronger/ But what they want/ Her to be is weak/ She could play pretend/ She could join the game, boy/ She could be another clone….don’t come visit/mother/ why go home?

Blood - Sirius’ family trying to make him into something he’s not

Spin me round/ Roll me over/ Fucking circus/ Stab it down/ One way needle/ Pulled so slowly/ Drains and spills/ Soaks the pages/ Fills their sponges/ It’s my blood/ It’s my blood

WMA - basically about all the big pureblood families that can get away w anything

“He won the lottery when he was born/ Took his mothers white breast to his tongue/ Do no wrong so clean cut/ Dirty his hands, it comes right off” (tw for song: police, implied police violence)

Do the Evolution - Sirius ranting abt/mocking his family

Admire me, admire my home/ Admire my son, he's my clone…./ I'll do what I want but irresponsibly/ It’s evolution, baby/ I’m a thief, I'm a liar/ There’s my church, I sing in the choir:/ (Hallelujah, hallelujah)

Bushleaguer - abt the aristocracy etc

This song is literally about George bush lmao but I love it abt the upper class

“Born on third, thinks he got a triple…./The aristocrat choir sings, "what's the ruckus?”/ The haves have not a clue/ The immenseness of suffering”

Mind your manners - You guessed it - Sirius rejecting his family

I've got an unfortunate feelin’/ I've been beaten down/I feel I don't believe/ And now the truth is coming out/ What they've taken is more than a vow/ They’ve taken your innocence/ And then they throw them on a burning fire/ All along they're sayin’/ Mind your manners

My father’s son - SIRIUS

I am my father's son,/ Yeah, too bad he was a psychopath and now I'm the next in line, , dear mother, yes, surely she's a work of art,…/Can I get a reprieve?/ This gene pool dark and deep…./Now father you're dead and gone and I'm finally free to be me,/ Thanks for all your dark gifts for which I've got no sympathy,/ I’m living in a walled-up place in the bounds of 5th symphony

Yellow Ledbetter - Sirius

Okay so 97% of the the lyrics are indecipherable when Eddie sings them but you can hear I don’t wanna stay

Go - Regulus to Sirius as he’s trying to leave

(Abuse tw) So sorry about this one yall …… .but yes I think this is regulus finally realizing that he shouldn’t have let things get so bad at home (Sirius blames him for not stepping in even tho he’s a child there’s nuance here etc) and he’s begging Sirius not to leave him here “Oh please don't go out on me don't go out on me now/ Never acted up before don't go on me now/ I swear I never took it for granted just thought of it now/ Suppose I abused you just passing it on….I pulled the covers over him shoulda' pulled the alarm/ Turned to my nemesis…Please don't go on me/ Don’t go on me/ Don’t go on me/ Don’t go on me/ please”

Rearviewmirror - Sirius running away

(Tw abuse) Time to emancipate/ I guess it was the beatings made me wise….Forced to endure/ What I could not forgive/ I seem to look away/ Wounds in the mirror waved/ It wasn't my surface most defiled

Can’t Keep - Sirius running away from home

I want to shake/ I want to wind out/ I want to leave/ This mind and shout/ I’ve lived/ All this life/ Like an ocean/ In disguise/ I don't live for ever/ You can't keep/ Me here

Hail, Hail - Remus and Sirius’ codependent strong love

A how I love you till the day I die...ah and beyond…/ are we going to the same place? If so, can I come?/ It’s egg rollin' thick and heavy...all the past we carry…

Release - Remus thinking about his dad

Remus’ dad is so full of guilt for his hand in remus’ transformations that he extracted himself from remus’ life. Remus laments here, “Oh, dear dad/ Can you see me now?/ I am myself/ Like you somehow” “I'll hold the pain/Release me” he’d would rather have a dad, guilt and all, here, than the self appointed absence but since you left me with the absence and grief and loss of it, at least release me from it, loosen your grip so I can move on.

Present Tense - Sirius and Remus talking probably laying in the forbidden forest assuaging one another’s beliefs of the gnarled beasts they think they are

BUGS - prob remus when he turns before the boys know

Bugs on my ceiling/ Crowded the floor/ Standing sitting kneeling…/ A few block the door/ And now the question’s:/ Do I kill them?/ Become their friend?/ Do I eat them?/ Do I join them?/ I’ll just stop now/ I’ll become naked/ And with the...I'll become one

Who you are - probably James at remus when he thinks he’s a big monster

Who are we?/ Who we are./ What’s your part? Who you are / You are who you are.

Save you - GOD THIS SONGG okay this is probably James @ Sirius when home life is bad and also Sirius @ Remus and also Remus @ Sirius it’s all of them @ all of them

Gonna save you fucker, not gonna lose you/ Feeling cocky and strong, can't let you go,/ Too important to me/ Too important to us, we'd be lost without you/ Baby, let yourself fall, I'm right below you now/ And fuck me if I say something you don't want to hear/ And fuck if you only hear what you want to hear/ Fuck me if I care, but I'm not leaving here/ You helped me when I was down, I'll help when you're down/ Why are you hitting yourself, c'mon hit me instead

Life Wasted - Sirius @ Reg re: leaving

I escaped it, a life wasted./ I’m never going back again…./ You're always saying you're too weak to be Strong./ You’re harder on yourself than just about Anyone/ Why swim the channel just to get this far?/ Halfway there, why would you turn around?

Severed Hand - Reg joins the death eaters

Big man stands behind an open door/ Said, leave your lady on the cement floor./ Got some kicks, want to take a ride?/ I said, yeah!/ Oh please understand I just need, my friend,/ A way a way a way home

Brain of J. - Reg and Sirius arguing after he joins the death eaters

The whole world will be different soon/ The whole world will be relieving/ You, you've been taught/ We’d been the same, now they got you in line/ Stand behind the stripes/ There will be order, so give it a good mind…./And by name/ The name they gave me/ The name I'm letting go

Deep - Regulus knows he’s in too deep

This is Regulus knowing he’s in too deep, Voldemort and the death eaters are such bad fucking people and he’s in too deep now (massive tw for this song for drugs and se*ual violence)

“Ponders his Maker, ponders his will/ in too deep/ can’t touch the bottom”

Pilate - Remus abt Sirius ;0)

Like Pilate I have a dog/ (Obeys listens kisses loves)/ Walks me out of town/ Still one's a crowd/ Making angels in the dirt/ Looking up looking all around

You Are - in love 🥰

Love is a tower/ Of strength to me/ I am the shoreline/ But you're the sea

Red Bar - the war begins

War, I’m crazy/ War I’m crazy I’m war the song is also a lil goofy so it’s maybe just like going crazy being so in it that it’s funny now

Porch - WARTIME EVERYONE @ THEIR LOVERS

It’s the war and everyone knows today could be their last day and tensions are running high in relationships and they love each other so much and need each other but snap at one another nonetheless

What the fuck is this world running to?/ You didn't leave a message/ At least I could have learned your voice one last time/ Daily minefield, this could be my time by you/ Would you hit me? Would you hit me?/ Hear my name, take a good look/ This could be the day/ Hold my hand, walk beside me

Thin Air - babes in love

There's a light, when my baby's in my arms,/ There’s a light, when the window shades are drawn…/ And I know she's reached my heart, in thin air.

All or None - More war time songs soz

Here's the selfless confession/ Leading me back to war/ Can we help that our destinations/ Are the ones we've been before?/ I still try to run on/ But it's all or none

Parting Ways - Lily @ James during the war

She knows their future's burning/ But she can smile just the same, same/ And though her mood is fine today/ There’s a fear they'll soon be parting ways

Love Boat Caption - Sirius/Remus, Lily/James, etc etc. during the war

Love boat captain/ Take the reigns and steer us towards the clear, here/ It’s already been sung, but it can't be said enough/ All you need is loveIt's an art to live with pain/ Mix the light into grey/ Lost nine friends we'll never know/ Two years ago today/ And if our lives became too long/ Would it add to our regret?…./Hold me and make it the truthThat when all is lost, there will be you

Evacuation - going into hiding

Lukin- Lily and James have to go into hiding

(Tw st*lking mention in explanation, gun mention in song) The song was written by Eddie when he was being stalked and he had to bring himself and his wife to a friend’s house for safety.

In Hiding - Lily and James are in hiding and enter Peter

No way in or out/ I turned and walked the hallways/ And pulled the curtains down…./I swallow the truth to keep from lying/ i'm no longer overwhelmed and it seems so simple now/ Yeah, it's funny how things change so much/ It’s all state of mind

Once - Peter Pettigrew betraying the marauders

Literally about someone committing a mass murder. “Once upon a time I could control myself.” “Mimic whats insane.”

Around the Bend - I'm so sorry ummm but Lily to Harry on Halloween 💀

I am wishing you a well…./ I hold your head deep in my arms/ My fingertips, they close your eyes/ Off you dream, my little child/ There’s a sun around the bend/ Please forgive me, won't you, dear?/ Please forgive and let me share with you, around the bend/ You’re an angel when you sleep/ How I want your soul to keep, on and on around the bend

Garden - Sirius being taken to Azkaban

He’s just taking his fate as it comes to him.

The direction of the eye/ So misleading/ The defection of the soul/ Nauseously quick/I will walk, with my hands bound/ I will walk, with my face blood/ I will walk, with my shadow flag/ Into your garden/ Garden of stone

Even flow - IS SO VERY MUCH SIRIUS IN AZKABAN

sung from the pov of an incarcerated person waiting for life to begin again

BUGS - Sirius in Azkaban (yes I already said this abt remus but idc)

Bugs on my ceiling/ Crowded the floor/ Standing sitting kneeling…/ A few block the door/ And now the question’s:/ Do I kill them?/ Become their friend?/ Do I eat them?/ Do I join them?/ I’ll just stop now/ I’ll become naked/ And with the...I'll become one

Black - Remus lamenting about Sirius’ perceived deception

Remembering their love and how now so many of his memories are tainted (by) black and that all of this has changed him fundamentally (star imagery, “black”, “tattooed everything”)

Indifference - Sirius in grimmauld place, sirius in Azkaban

Sirius taking his home life in stride until he can leave, taking Azkaban in stride bc it doesn’t matter any way bc he believes he deserve it anyway

“Pretend I'm free to roam/ I will make my way/ Through one more day in hell/ How much difference does it make?/ How much difference does it make?/ I will hold the candle/ Till it burns up my arm/ Oh, I'll keep takin' punches/ Until their will grows tired/ Oh, I will stare the sun down/ Until my eyes go blind/ Hey, I won't change direction/ And I won't change my mind/ How much difference does it make?/ How much difference does it make?/ I’ll swallow poison, until I grow immune/ I will scream my lungs out till it fills this room”

Alive - Remus post ’81

Eddie originally wrote the song as a lament - why did I live when he didn’t? Why am I still alive?

“Is something wrong she said, of course there is, you’re still alive she said, but do I deserve to be?”

Animal - Remus after ’81 when he needs to transform alone

Feat. A throwback to being turned (so tw: abd*ction) “Torture from you to me, yeah/Abducted from the street/I'd rather be with an animal”

Nothingman - Sirius and Remus after ’81

Once divided nothing left to subtract/ Some words when spoken can't be taken back/ Walks on his own with thoughts he can't help thinking/ Future’s above but in the past he's slow and sinking…./ She once believed in every story he had to tell/ One day she stiffened took the other side/ Empty stares from each corner of a shared prison cell/ One just escapes one's left inside the well

Smile - Remus @ the marauders (except it’s after ’81 and he just thinks of them fondly)

Don't it make you smile?/ I miss you already/ I miss you always/ I miss you already/ I miss you all day/ This is how I feel/ Three crooked hearts swirls all around/ Don’t it make you smile?

In my tree - remus abt sirius after ’81

I remember him, yeah…/ I swore I knew everything, oh yeah…/ They say knowledge is a dream, yeah…/ He's growing up just like me, yeah…

Light Years - Remus abt Sirius

But now you're gone, I haven't figured out why/ I’ve come up with riddles and jokes about war/ I’ve figured out numbers and what they're for/ I’ve understood feelings and I've understood words/ But how could you be taken away?/ Back pages and days alone that could have been spent/ Together, but we were miles apart Every inch between us becomes light years now

I’m open - Remus!!!! Post ’81

After spending half his life searching he still felt as blank/ As the ceiling at which he stared/ He is alive but feels absolutely nothing/ So is he?/ When he was six he believed that the moon overhead followed him/…..So this is what it's like to be an adult/ If he only knew now what he knew then

Thumbing my Way - Remus post ’81 again blah blah ikik

I can't be free with what's locked inside of me/ If there was a key you took it in your hand/ There’s no wrong or right but I'm sure there's good and bad/ The questions linger overhead

Rats - we know how remus like to soliloquize …. This is him waxing poetic about how fucking horrible Peter is

The song itself is kind of listing the many ills of humankind saying how rats don’t compare to people bc they don’t do all this. But Peter isnt really a rat. He’s a man and oppresses like a man and betrays like a man and takes like a man.

“Drink the blood of their so-called best friend….They don't scurry when something bigger comes their way….Don't take what's not theirs“

Oceans - Sirius escaping Azkaban

Hold on to the thread/ The currents will shift, glide me towards/ You know something's left/ And we're all allowed to dream of the next…..The sea will rise/ Please stand by the shore/ I will be there once more

Elderly Woman Behind The Counter In A Small Town - Sirius after Azkaban

200004309248% sirius returning from 12 years isolated. He doesn’t really recognize most things. Remus wouldn’t recognize him. He’s different. Changed by being unchanged. He couldn’t grow and learn and morph and become. He stagnated yet decayed. But he’s back and he recognizes your skin and your breath. He’s back.

Off He Goes - Sirius is a Sagittarius in the first half, second half is post PoA

Know a man his face seemed pulled and tense/ Like he's riding on a motorbike in the strongest winds/ So I approach with tact/ Suggest that he should relax/ But he's always movin' much too fast/ Said he'll see me on the flip side/ On this trip he's taken for a ride…./ And now I rub my eyes for he has returned/ Seems my preconceptions are what should have been burned/ For he still smiles and he's still strong/ Nothing’s changed, but the surrounding bullshit, that has grown/ And now he's home, and we're laughing, like we always did/ My same old, same old friend/ Until a quarter-to-ten

All Those Yesterdays - and cue the bath scene, remus washes his lost love

Don't you think you oughta rest?/ Don’t you think you oughta lay you head down?/ You don't think there's time to stop/ There’s time enough for you to lay your head down tonight tonight/ Let it wash away/ All those yesterdays